Part of The List
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Temptation is hard to fight. And the more you fight against it, the more it pulls you back in. This is the story of lovers promised to others. Lies are told. Secrets are kept. Hearts are broken. And pain and jealousy make it harder to breathe. And it does not stop their need for one another. *DISCLAIMER* Klare, ECLARE, Drianca, BATIE, FIMOGEN, Dulia
1. Somewhere Out There

Somewhere Out There

Our Lady Peace

Chapter 1

…..

The blaring music in the air. The blinding lights. So many people here. And yet. She didn't know how she ended up in this predicament. She didn't mean to be entranced by the dark-haired young man whose voice made her tremble. Forgetting about the loud music that blared…..It wasn't as loud as the silence that surrounded them. Her chest on top of his as he pulled them back into the darkest corner of the club. His grey eyes finding her deep blue eyes. He couldn't tear himself away from her. And feeling her hands on his chest, she didn't want to let him go either.

"Eli…I have a boyfriend." She felt his hand grip her waist as she bit her lip. To keep from kissing him. To keep from shoving her body into his. To keep from….she didn't know how she ended up in his grasp. It was just a dance…and somehow she ended up here. With him.

"…I know." He whispered as he looked at her lips. Her pink lips that he had to taste. Not caring about the words that left her mouth. He leaned in slowly…gently moving his hands in her straightened hair…he felt her push him back.

"I…I just cant…." She stuttered as her heart trembled.

No this wasn't like her. This wasn't like her to dance with guys who weren't her boyfriend. Or to want….or to need from some random guy with the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen in her life. Though the club was dark, their eyes still connected…and she felt him pull her back into him. Giving them both what they wanted. They just met today. And right now his tongue was shoved so far down her mouth, she could barely breath. And found herself wanting more of this feeling. More of him.

Feeling her hands in his hair, he smirked as her moans became louder. No one could see them back here. It was like their own place. Their own world. And Julia didn't exist anymore. And by the way their lips collided neither did her boyfriend. Moving his hands underneath her dress….up her inner thigh….the red head panicked as she pushed him back. A look of shock on her face…in her eyes.

Did she really just do this?

Did she really just cheat on her boyfriend?

Was she really going to let this guy have his way with her?

And did she really want him too?

She just wanted to go back to this morning….

"K.C. come on…." She felt her boyfriend kiss her neck as she tried to type her term paper. Every time she busy, he would do his best to distract her. "This paper is due at 12 o clock tonight."

"Since when does Clare Edwards procrastinate?" The sandy blonde looked at the young woman as she shrugged. Continuing to type, she ignored his aggravated look.

"I am human K.C." The smart girl hated how she was so predictable at times…so much to the degree that others forgot that she made mistakes as well.

"I know…I know…it's just kind of scary when you do" K.C. saw her give a curious look. Damn…he didn't mean to start another disagreement.

"Why is it scary…" The red teen looked for an explanation as he grabbed the remote control…ignoring her eyes.

"It is not scary…its just that you do everything so perfectly…and you take yourself way too seriously at times." He didn't mean for that last part to slip out.

"Well at least you know I haven't changed since high school." She bit back as she continued to type. At least he wouldn't disrupt her anymore. Wait. Since when did she not mind him not distracting her anymore? Since when did she not need his attention anymore? Shaking her head, she smiled as she saved the document.

He was so tired of this. Tired of feeling as if he always did something wrong. As if he could never find the right words to say to her. And she would never try anymore. She would never try to understand his point of view. Even now as she uploaded her paper, he felt distance between them.

Even though they were both close.

Letting out a sigh, he turned off the tv as she looked at him with confusion.

"Well I will see you in two days…..I have an away game remember." He kissed him as she walked him to the door.

Clare smiled bitterly as she felt him kiss her forehead. Closing the door behind him, she slid on the ground. Resting her head against the door. Releasing a effortless sigh. She didn't know how it happened…but it did. Biting her lip, she looked at their pictures together on her phone. Three years together. Three years passed…but felt like ten. It shouldn't feel like this. A relationship shouldn't feel heavy and staggering. It shouldn't be hard to kiss a person…to hold a person…to love a person.

She thought K.C. was the one for her. The guy who she would move in with. And have kids with. Grow old with. But now….no matter what she said…or what she did…it was wrong. Everything was wrong in her life. No matter the number of A's she got in her college courses, it didn't compensate for her social awkwardness. She had waited on the moment since they were in high school. She had waited for him to notice her and when they ended up at the same college, she made her move.

New clothes.

New hair.

New make-up.

A new Clare. A better Clare with more confidence….

She quickly got out the way she heard the door unlock. Seeing her sister enter the room…her soccer ball in one hand and her lap top in the other. Why was she the overshadowed, smart sibling? Still?

"Please tell me you and K.C. didn't get into another argument?" Katie placed her things on the counter. The beautiful athlete shook her head as she noticed her stepsister's frustration.

"no…we didn't…." The smart girl shrugged as she watched the other pull up a lesson plan template on her computer. She never knew why the girl chose to teach in the first place. She had no patience for silliness. And kids were nothing more but silly.

"So that is code for…I don't love him anymore…" Katie typed as Clare hated how she read her mind. Her mother and Katie's father married when they were little…and blood couldn't make them anymore closer. Which was why she hated how the coach always read her mind.

"I never said that…." She poured herself something to drink as she grabbed herself some chips. "I can t wait for Maya to move in with us when she graduates.

"O hell no." Katie sent the file to her principal. "Keeping an eye on you is enough….do you know what Helen had to do to convince me to let you stay with me?"

"I know…I know…." Clare cut her off as she looked at the newly graduated girl. She was blessed to get a coaching job at a middle school before she graduated. She herself just had one more year to go. "But at least with Maya here, you would concentrate on her…and leave me alone." She said with tart as she threw a chip at her sister.

"You are just jealous that I don't have to deal with boy issues." Katie teased. Thankful her preference was women.

…..

Eli looked at his phone. Another text from Katie.

_Don't forget to turn the lesson plan in._ ;)

He gave his infamous smirk. He never thought he would have greater joy than teaching theatre to a bunch of 13 year olds. But it was true. And though he loved his job, he hated writing lesson plans with a passion. They were due on Monday. And even though it was Saturday, his friend knew his gift for procrastination. Turning his head, he saw Julia laying in the bed. In her naked glory. Her beautiful body that he was sure would make any man envy him more. Her long midnight hair, enhanced her face as he laughed at her light snore. Kissing her forehead, he saw her wake up gently.

"Hey you?" he smiled as he put some clothes on leaving his phone on the bed.

"Hey…" She said groggily. Sitting up as she admired her boyfriend's body. His small frame only made her drool as she eyed his abs. she memorized his body. And it was one of the many things that made her rush home. The busy streets of LA had its handful of gorgeous men….but there was only one Eli Goldworthy.

At least that was what she was trying to convince herself.

Biting her lip she grabbed his phone. Overanalyzing the smiley face. "Who's Katie?" She waited for an answer as Eli shook his head in agitation.

No. not again. Not when everything was going great again. She just got back home…and already her paranoia was getting to her.

"Eli….who is Katie?" She grabbed her clothes from the floor…demanding an answer. She hated how these questions made her sound like the untrusting girlfriend.

Even though she knew it should be the other way around.

Like Eli wasn't doing his job to give her contentment…but she traveled so much…and her boyfriend always had this magnetic force around him that attracted so many girls to him.

"She is a co-worker…that's it…the one I always carpool with…..now can we fast forward to how your auditions in California went?" He changed the subject as she rolled her eyes. Following him into his kitchen. She wanted to move in so badly with him, but he always ignored her hinds.

"its going good…but I will probably eventually stay in Canada…I'm tired of driving long hours." She stated as he shrugged.

What she meant to say was that she wanted to keep a good eye on him. Letting out a sigh…he thought high school was complicated…but he didn't think the real world was just as bad. He was 22 and he hated that his relationship was trying to be controlled.

"Plus." She wrapped her arms around him. "I want to be closer to you….I mean…its bad enough that I have some of my clothes here and a toothbrush." She looked in his eyes as she didn't find what she was looking for. What if he knew? No. No. he didn't know. No one knew but her.

"Jules….why do you want this so much?" He put space between them.

"Why don't you want this as much as me….we have been together for about a year now….and we both feel confident in this relationship." She stated as he poured himself some coffee….knowing she was watching him with persistence in her eyes. She always had to have things her way.

"I told you…I am just not ready…."

"No you didn't….you always talk over the idea the second I bring it up….." She folded her arms as he had to give her an explanation.

"I like things the way they are. I like having my own place to come to. I don't want to share yet….I know it sounds harsh…but it's true…I like coming home to my place….and not being…..nothing…." Seeing her fold her lips with aggravation.

"go on…finish the statement…..not being bothered." The beautiful girl waited for him to speak.

"Bothered isn't the right word." His humor deflected the seriousness of the conversation. Seeing her redden, he realized it was the wrong moment.

"Then what is?" The alabaster beauty waited patiently. Knowing that she deserved this deep down. But it was just a mistake. A stupid mistake. That she was paying for.

"more like disturbed….." He realized that was worse than the other word as his girlfriend's mouth dropped. "Its just that….." Julia ran to his room as he followed.

"No…it's fine….it's fine." She gathered her things as she attempted to leave.

"Julia….don't be so impulsive." He watched her ignore his eyes. Not that he couldn't blame her for being mad at him.

"Let's not talk about people being impulsive." She glared daggers at him. "And I'm not…..I will just give you space since you don't want to be bothered." She slammed the door as Eli placed his hand on his head.

Knowing that this was a permanent break-up for him.

…..

Katie watched her sisters jump out of the car as they ran into the KFC. Rolling her eyes at their silliness, she locked her door as she thought she recognized the car parked next to her. No….it couldn't be…most likely it wasn't. Walking inside the restaurant she saw the blonde and the red head giggle as they looked at the menu. The mashed potatoes and biscuits were calling their name.

Clare didn't know why she was so happy to be with her sisters. Mostly because she had to get her mind off of K.C. and hearing Maya's musical adventures always cheered her up. The young girl had such an old spirit about herself….just like her….and that was her fault. She acted too old for age. She wanted to be spontaneous….she wanted to be seen as sexy…not so secure…..and K.C. reminded her of that….even when he didn't try to.

"What will you be ordering?" the clerk asked as the two girl thought. The second oldest sister went to the bathroom as she shook her head at the two being drama queens. Like they didn't order the same thing every time.

Bianca looked at herself in the mirror. So many thought she was such a smart and beautiful girl. But if she was so smart, why couldn't she get her life right? Seeing the engagement ring on her finger, she had what so many wanted. Drew Torres. The business man who was promised to have many great things in the future. Smiling at the ring, she realized that he did make her happy. But there were so many definitions of the word happiness.

Hearing the door swing open, she looked at the girl who stood in the entrance. Both of their mouths opened wide. Not expecting to see each other. Not expecting to see the athletic girl with the gorgeous figure. The girl who prided herself on what she knew rather than how she looked. And she hated her for that. The town was so big…and suddenly it became small. Moving her eyes away from the beautiful red head, she muttered a hello as she left restaurant.

Hearing her phone vibrate, Bianca hit the ignore button. The way she just left her like that. But she had to. They were no longer friends anymore. She had messed that herself. And seeing the emotion in Katie's eyes…she did not forget about her either. Shaking her head, she tried to get memories out of her mind. The sleep overs….the conversations…just her in general. Was it really worth it? Was it really worth this? She told herself yes.

And as she drove off, her heart told her she was wrong?

Katie hated how the curly haired godess gave her no chance to react to seeing her. What happened was in the past. She forgave her.

She had no other choice.

She moved on…but she could have sworn she saw the same emotion in her eyes when they were in high school again. Silly thinking. And it was stupid of her to bring it back up again. Bianca made the choice for her.

Returning to her sisters, she saw them look out door at the other girl.

"Here we ordered your wings." Clare bit her lip as Maya looked at her not knowing what to say. "ummm….." Clare began.

"Wasn't that Bianca….." Maya finished. Expecting for her sister to not talk about it.

"Yeah Maya…." The oldest of the three ate as the athlete fidgeted with her food

"The girl that you first fell in l…." Clare began.

"I don't need a recap of my life." She shut the two down. "Can I just eat my mashed potatoes without thinking about it?" Taking a deep breath as she remembered seeing the ring on her left finger. So her and Drew worked out after all.

"Sure…." Clare looked at her cell phone.

"That must have been some fight that didn't happen?" Maya asked the middle sister who looked at her with agitation.

"K.C…I don't know If I changed….and maybe he stayed the same or the other way around." She continued to eat.

"Well how about we go the club tonight…"

"Really?" The senior asked as the oldest debated in her head. All the times that she went….her and….she wouldn't bring her name up. She also didn't want to take away from Maya. She wanted her to look forward to the future…

Maya couldn't believe how much time passed by. She was finally a senior, but she hated how her sisters thought she was still a child. No matter how responsible she was….or mature….they still did their best to protect her….she didn't mind that though…all she wanted was to just be their equal for once.

"I guess one time wouldn't hurt…..and I can easily get a fake id…." The two gave into her as the blonde hugged them both.

…..

Bianca couldn't stop her hands from shaking as she grabbed her car keys from her purse. Yes…she had a purse now…..and used make up that was flattering towards herself. She finally found her way in this life…but at times she wanted to lost again. There was beauty in not having a destination at times. How she wanted to lose herself in….

"Uhh…." She hissed in frustration. Why couldn't she get the red head out of her mind? It had been years since they saw each other up close…..years since they were friends. Years since she had spoken to her. Heard her soft voice. Placing her hand on her head, she let go of the best part of her life…she meant best friend she had ever had. Biting her lip, she touched the door handle as she realized it was already open.

Rolling her eyes, she saw her little brother on the couch. Sitting up, the boy gave her his infamous smirk.

"Doesn't that ring get heavy on your finger?" He helped as he grabbed the groceries from her hand as she licked out her tongue at him.

"Nice to know I can always count on you to break in my apartment? Julia threw you out again?" She grabbed some pans as she placed them on the stove.

"ha ha…very funny….I thought you were getting fast food tonight." The mysterious man watched her stiffen as she searched the refrigerator.

"I changed my mind." Bianca grabbed some wine from the cabinet. Not wanting to speak about her encounter today.

Noticing how tense she got, he was still debating on whether or not to bring a suggestion up.

"Someone is definitely scared that their girlfriend is going to hunt them down." She opened up the pasta box as Eli shook his head.

"We broke up." He saw her look at him with shock. "What..it was the best thing for us. You know that." He shrugged as his sister bit her lip. "sometimes things cant be forced to work out." He said with emphasis knowing she hated when he talked like this.

Why did he always have to be so cryptic all the time?

"Eli….what is your freaking idea?" She asked as she looked at the ingredients on the table.

"Well…I was just wondering if I could use some of your dancers for a school play…we are doing **The Nutcracker**…and I wanted us to hang out some." she bit her lip as he saw her drop the hard shells on the floor. Crackling as they hit the marble.

Did she hear him right?

"Ummm….sure…why not?" She avoided the awkwardness as she threw the pieces away. Pretending she was fine.

"It's just that….you know Katie works with me….I didn't know if things were still shaky between you…."

"It's been 5 years since I have seen her. Why would it be a problem?" Her pulse tensed as Eli changed the subject quickly.

"There shouldn't be any problem….that is why I was just making sure…..so what are you cooking for Drew anyways."

"His favorite…spaghetti." Bianca watched the young man look at the pictures and trophies displayed on her shelf. Looking at the picture of them together…..Drew's lips on her forehead as she smiled brightly. They looked like the perfect couple. But looks were always deceiving. Eli just always kept his opinion to himself when it came to them. It wasn't his business just like him and Julia wasn't hers.

"Don't start Eli….." She saw him pick up the picture of the "happy couple" as the phone rang.

Hearing her talk to Drew, he hated how his sister was adamant on making this life with him work out. To a degree that she was losing herself in him. Like she was hiding from herself and what she truly wanted. This wasn't the Bianca that he knew growing up. The smart mouth girl who could kick anyone's ass. The one who was not afraid to back down to anyone.

"Baby….it's your favorite though. You never miss spaghetti night?" She paused as she let out a sigh. "Alright….alright….see you later babe…I love you…." She hung up. Knowing Eli would love this announcement.

"Well he can't make it after all." She hung up the phone.

"Imagine a day where you wouldn't be attached to his waist….surprised you aren't exploding." His sarcasm made her hit his arm hard. Seeing him clutch it.

"Ouch. I am surprised you even remember how to hit hard." He laughed as she shook her head.

"Shut up…you know I didn't talk about Julia's attachment disorder or your gift of always distancing yourself from her. Back off." She warned as let it go.

"I am…." He said calmly as he heard his phone ring.

_I am so sorry about today…please forgive me…._

He was so tired of this. And soon his fingers got a mind of their own. Telling her what he actually wanted.

_I forgive you….but we can't be anymore._

…

Julia placed her phone down on the table.

So this was finally the end to them. As much as she tried to make them be….they couldn't. And she knew why.

No matter how hard she tried to keep things together for them, he pushed farther away from her. She thought the trip to LA would make his heart grow fonder for her…but it didn't….and she hated it. She hated how she made him chose his words wisely. She hated how she wasn't confident in herself. And she hated how she had to go back in a week…and how he didn't come back with her. And how it seemed as if he could live without her….and deep down she knew she could too.

Hearing her phone ring again, she answered it without reading the screen.

"Eli…" She began as she heard the all too familiar voice.

"Well someone is feeling guilty." The olive teen said with smugness as the girl's face dropped. Biting her lip, she couldn't get his gorgeous smile and body out of head. No matter how hard she tried.

"I told you to stop calling me Drew….."The dark haired beauty said. Memories of their bodies together as one.

"You didn't mean that." Drew remembered the feel of her skin on his. Him making her scream louder and louder. Kissing her...moving into her deeper and deeper…..and deeper.

"Yes I did…it was just one time." She told him as her body wouldn't allow her to hang up the phone with him.

"and you cant stop thinking about it….neither can I." He swallowed as he wanted to feel her body again. He wanted to have her chest against him….just like that night. He didn't mean for this to happen…he didn't know how this attraction even began. All he knew was that Bianca wasn't who he thought she was…at least not anymore.

"I told you….it shouldn't have happened….."

"but it did….." Drew couldn't stop himself. Hearing her attempted persistence through the phone.

"Look...you have Bianca…she loves you….you love her….it is just lust between us…that's it….." Just a few hours ago she broke up with the boy. How is it now that can't stop thinking about Drew.

"Look….just hear me out….I know we were both in the wrong…and I know we both said it would never happen again…but I lied to myself. I miss you….and as much as you try to bring you and Eli together….." He began.

"You have no right to talk about my relationship with him. I love Eli…I do….and you are supposed to love Bianca….." She refused to tell him.

"I do….just not the same anymore…."

"Then why is she still wearing an engagement ring….." The dark beauty waited.

"Because…" Drew began as he couldn't find an answer.

"Because what…..you don't want to be alone…you don't have the balls to break it off." She found herself feeling hoarse.

"Just meet me at my apartment tonight…..I know you are back in town….no strings." He hung up as she threw the phone on the ground. How did he do that? How did he have the power to turn her world upside down? To make feel…falling on the floor…she wanted to be stronger. Stronger to fight the force that pulled together.

So strong that it made her disregard Eli in every way.

…

Bianca felt Imogen and Fiona pull her and her brother through the crowds of people. Talking…dancing….just trying to forget their troubles. That was what she wanted too. Drew hadn't called her back since this evening. This wasn't like him at all…but he did change schedules at work today. She had to stop being so paranoid.

"So how has Drianca been?" Fiona smiled at her closest friends noticing the rebel tense.

"Good….." she tried to shake the feeling off. This was their time together. They hadn't seen each other in three months. They had all been so busy with their careers…

"Duh…du…du..dum…" The quirky girl hummed the wedding carol. "the wait wont be much longer will it….I cant wait to be in the wedding." She beamed as Fiona admired her adorableness.

"Hold it there…." Eli laughed cynically as Bianca gave him an annoyed look.

"So sorry you don't feel the same way about Julia." Fiona chimed in. her curls bouncing with her…."But some people actually do believe in love." Immy held her hand as the boy shook his head.

"I never said that." He shrugged seeing Bianca's true situation as she tried not to look at her phone.

"This might be a shock to you Eli…but one day you will find someone who will make you feel like you are on top of the world." Immy said with glee as she kissed Fiona's cheek. Bianca looked at them together. She wished she had that…in more ways than one.

"You have got to stop letting her watch Titanic…but I am just lucky you two didn't choose a gay club again." He hated how he was the only guy in their gang. But he loved them as sisters regardless. Accepting drinks from the waiter, he let the music relax him….and seeing how Bianca wasn't looking at her phone so much….the little alcohol did her well…

So well that she wouldn't panic when she saw Katie and her two sisters come through the crowd.

Woah….

His eyes weren't playing a trick on his…it was the three.

Maya couldn't believe she was finally here. An actual club. With an actual fake ID. With her actual sisters. Taking in the dark area, she felt Clare grab her hand as she pulled her with them. Calming herself down, she hoped she fit in with the others. But judging by her enthusiasm…she knew she wouldn't. and Helen would kill them if she found out about this.

Katie didn't know how she had the unfortunate luck of choosing the same night to come as the four of them. Why was running into Bianca all of sudden. And as much as she lied to herself…..she hated to see her again. Her deep brown eyes….that always….

"We can just pretend not to see them?" Clare saw Fiona begging for them to come. Seeing the fear on Katie's face.

"Are you out of your mind?" Bianca lost her cool…even with little dose of alcohol. "I thought you wanted us to have fun tonight." She blushed seeing Katie's body in the short black party dress. Her red curls flowing.

"Come on Binx….you two were so long ago…" Imogen smiled as the girls came closer.

"We weren't together." Her body apparently disagreed at the comment…as Eli continued to sip his rum and coke. Seeing the younger red head. Her bright blue eyes amazed him like never before. Shaking his head, he couldn't believe he had the nerve to look at any woman right now. Especially the one who took a vacant seat beside him. Her pale skin was flawless.

"Thanks for inviting us." Katie bit her lip…seeing Bianca do her best to ignore her. So she still hated since that day….since the day she…

"I know right…its like a class reunion. So what brings you here." Imogen beamed.

"We just wanted to party…."Clare shrugged as Eli took notice of her answer. Since when did Clare Edwards like to party? Her remembered how the girl was always pinning over this blonde kid who every girl wanted. He had a couple of conversations with her when she would wait with Katie…but nothing longer than five minutes.

"Since when did you become a little minx?" Eli asked as Clare looked at him. Their eyes bearing into each other.

"Since you stopped wearing black and being the overly passionate emo guy." She bit back as the table noticed. Seeing his face drop, she laughed at his demeanor. Blue met grey.

"Burn…" Bianca commented. The girl reminded her of her older sister. Who was doing her best not to stare at her. As she was. It was all her fault for…everything she did to them.

"So are you enjoying your first time here?" Bianca asked the blonde who didn't know how to answer. She didn't want to betray her sister. But she didn't want to make a scene.

"yeah…." Maya said. Her eyes adjusting to her contacts.

"I haven't seen you in so long Maya….you turned out to be a beautiful young woman." The rebel found her heart breaking at the comment. But when your sister was Katie…you had no other choice but to beautiful.

Immy began to move as she heard a techno mix of Lana Del Rey. "Come on Fi….I love this song….come dance with us Maya." She pulled the two to dance floor as Katie bit her lip. Clare was talking to Eli….and now she was forced to talk to the fighter. Why didn't she choose a gay club to go to? This was the most awkward moment ever….

"So I put a bet on my sister throwing a drink on your sister." Eli whispered in her ear as she found herself snickering. Liking the feeling of him close to her. So she finally seeing the dark aura of Eli Goldworthy. The guy who fascinated so many girls. She found it odd how they found joy in observing their sister's talk at each other and not talk to one another.

"You look happy Katie." Bianca didn't know what to say to girl. She wanted to apologize. But she knew that wouldn't do.

"You too…I …am…happy for you." She grabbed the girl's hand as she saw the ring close up. The choice was right in her face. The elegant ring that was a symbol of true love.

"Me too…." Bianca let the girl touch her hand again. Like before. Like the other times. And just like every other time…she fell deeper and deeper into the girl's presence. Their hands lacing.

"Katie…I am really sorry about how I handled the situation when we were younger…and if I could go back in time…."

"No need." Katie stopped her. "Old news." The red head shrugged as she went to the bar…leaving the brunette to herself. She just had to get away as she sat on the stool. Waiting for the bartender to service her. She at least hoped Clare was forgetting about K.C. Maya was definitely enjoying herself as she danced with the two girls. Laughing at her sister's giddiness, she head a deep voice speak to her.

"Hi beautiful….." A gorgeous man sat beside her. A beautiful smile to match.

"Hi…yourself." She smiled…hoping she didn't sound rude. Hating how she noticed Bianca was looking at them…

She knew Clare and eli were talking about her. How she had no right to watch Katie with another guy. It was her life. And she could do whatever she wanted….just like her…Taking a deep breath, she excused herself from the table.

"and here we go again….the chronicles of Bianca and Katie….." Eli took another sip as she saw the girl looking at his drink. "Want some?" he offered. Seeing her blush. Liking how her eyes made him feel at ease.

"No thanks….."She bit her lip as she saddened. Feeling his dark aura talk to her.

"Ummm…sorry…I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He hated seeing this emotion in her eyes.

"No…it's not you….it's my life right now…my relationship with my boyfriend….and seeing those two…I just want to know what real love feels like….not the puppy love….I don't want to feel the kind of love that just makes my hands sweat..." She saw him look at her so intently. "I want the kind of love where it's unconditional. No mind games….no competition. Just us…" She blushed. "I mean…me and the guy I am supposed to be with."

"You remind me so much of myself before I got into a relationship…my past relationship that is.…love is not how you think it is…..there is grey…and you have to compromise." He shrugged seeing her shy behavior. Enjoying listening to her.

"So does that mean that you settled? No one should settle. And we can be so hypocritical at times. Why is it so easy to give advice and not take our own." She red head looked into his grey eyes. They were so beautiful.

He didn't expect her to say this. He didn't expect one girl to just make him think like this. To have such an open conversation with him. Not afraid that their response would scare away the other. Putting his drink down, he noticed a look in her eye. No. it was just the alcohol.

"I don't know what I did honestly. My ex just tried to hard to make things work out. I couldn't deal. I wasn't good enough for her." He looked at the table as their arms touched.

"Me neither….I wish I could be like Katie…you know….she gets noticed every time she comes in the room…or even like my oldest sister Darcy…who is so gorgeous…she doesn't even have to speak…but I am not….."She shrugged.

"Where is that confidence I saw earlier? Why do you say that…..Clare you are just like how I remembered you from highschool…..you were that pretty girl who didn't know how pretty you were…." He blushed.

"That's the alcohol talking." Clare found herself blushing. Grateful for the darkness.

"no…that is the truth…..you were always hiding underneath a book. Hiding from the world." He stopped himself from talking. From saving himself from the humiliation of having to admit that he noticed her when she didn't notice him.

"And you were always hiding behind your black eyeliner and snarky comments." She said as she blushed. Wishing her sister would come back from the bar….or even Bianca or Maya for that matter. Seeing the older sister smile at the gentleman…she wondered if she told him yet…..

Katie shook her head as she told the young man he didn't have to buy her a drink. It was kind of him…but she was just not in the mood to entertain him. She should have left the minute she saw Bianca.

"Something on your mind?" the blonde asked as he watched to cute girl accept the drink from the bartender.

"Umm…no…not really." She shrugged as she took a sip…setting her drink down. "I'm just…not interested….sorry…" She stated.

"O…I get it….bad break-up?" The boy watched her facial expression change.

"You can say that…." She let him believe his own story as she phone dropped on the floor….not seeing the boy's hand near her drink. Not seeing the spiteful, venomous look in his eyes.

As Bianca came from the bathroom, her face dropped as she saw the boy put something in her drink. No way in hell was she going to let this happen to any girl….especially her Katie…..he would pay for this.

"So what was your past relationship like?" He put his hand back on his drink as he saw the girl reach for hers.

"It was just mutual." She chose her words carefully as she saw Bianca rudely stand in between them. What the hell was the meaning of this?

"Let me take that." The rebel quickly grabbed the drink from her hand as she threw it on the scheming blonde.

"Bianca…."That was all the athlete could say. She didn't even have time to register the girl grabbed the glass from her hand. This was fair to her. This was just like her. Her evil mind games. She couldn't have her…and Bianca wouldn't let her have anyone else.

"I take it you are the jealous girlfriend." He tried to play it cool. Grabbing napkins from the bartender. Hoping it was what he just said.

"I take you are the asshole trying to spike drinks. " Bianca defended the red head who was oblivious to the situation. It all happened so quickly. And if the fighter hadn't intervened…she would never be the same again….but that didn't give her the right to save her….not after what she did to her.

"What?" Katie stood up as the bartender heard…grabbing the phone to call the police.

"Katie…." Bianca called for her as she continued to walk through the back door. "Katie…."

"You can pat yourself on the back Bianca….you did your good deed…you don't owe me anymore." She looked at the rebellious goddess.

"I did it because….." The fighter tried to grab for her hand.

"Just go away…."

"You know the least you could do is say thanks. Do you know what that guy intended to do to you. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you." She rested her hands on the red head's shoulders.

"no…you don't have the right to hurt me…and then you save me….you are so noble always…putting everyone's feelings and desires before your own…how selfless." she pushed the girl off of her as she walked back inside. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she saw Clare talking to Eli. It made no sense to ruin their lives. Taking a deep breath, she did her best to get Bianca's soft touch out of her mind. It still felt the same. Nothing was different. Looking at Clare…she hoped she could learn from own mistakes.

"So in other words…I was the predictable prude who was scared to take risks." She hated how K.C. was right about her.

"No…no…."He realized her boyfriend did not support her as he needed to. "Clare I didn't say that…predictability is good…it means people can trust you…depend on you….you were always protesting something then…you had fight….somehow you lost that." He saw her look at him. "Sorry…Bianca tells me I talk too much."

"No…no…I needed to hear that…honestly….I guess…just never change who you are to be with someone…or to get them…I hate how I was acting like a high-schooler when I was in college." She laughed cynically.

"But at least you didn't settle and deal with someone who didn't trust you." He opened up to her as he noticed how his pinky touched hers. He never felt this warmness before. After one conversation. And he didn't want the sensation to end. Placing his hand on hers, he waited for her to tell him to stay away from him. But nothing was said as he pulled her away from table.

Clare didn't know what clicked in her head as she felt herself respond to him. No…K.C….her boyfriend. But she didn't stop the dark stranger from putting his arm around her waist as he guided her to the dance floor….

There was nothing wrong with a dance. Even if it wasn't with Julia. Even if he just broke up with her. Feeling the red head press against his chest…he looked into her eyes. Her innocent eyes that captivated him. That he always remembered captivating him. So many times in English he found himself staring at them….but they weren't in high-school anymore….

This was too soon. These feelings. This couldn't happen. Why hadn't she noticed him in high-school? Because she was too focused on K.C. but this guy….wait…this was not a fairytale…and there was no such thing as love at first sight. And it was stupid and naïve of her to like this one guy after one conversation.

"Umm….I got to go find Katie….."She felt him touch her arms. Closing her eyes as she felt him kiss her forehead. Hating that she was enjoying this intimacy.

"Wait….don't…" Eli knew she felt what he felt too. "Cant we just talk…" his grip stayed on her waist as she found herself nodding. Knowing that they wouldn't be talking. Pulling her to a corner, he found himself touching her face….admiring her beautiful locks…forgetting about Julia….damnit….she had someone. Biting his lip, he read the need in her eyes too.

But before Clare realized it….their lips were moving together….and she didn't want to stop it. Never. Gasping as he snuck his tongue inside her mouth, she gave into his touch. This was so wrong. But why did it feel so right?


	2. Somewhere Out There part 2

Somewhere Out There

Chapter 2

Part 2

…

Drew stopped lying to himself years ago. He wasn't the coward he was in high school. Yet he couldn't stop lying to others around him. And yet, he hid under a woman's skirt. His mother's skirt. He just always had to have her approval. And it always stopped him from gaining what he wanted. And he wanted her. So badly. Never before had his body craved another like her. He convinced himself that this was lust. They just wanted something new. A secret that would be kept until the end of time. And no one would get hurt. And they would move on.

But that was not what happened that night.

The dangerous game that they had played. That he wanted to continue. That he knew she had wanted to continue too. But she was being noble. Because she had to. Not because she wanted too. She was supposed to like a guy like Eli. A good guy who was passionate beyond reason. And he was supposed to like Bianca. The rebellious beauty who was not afraid to speak her mind. But life was not like this.

And he hated how bad this made him as person. He hated how he was hurting Binx without her knowing it….having to see her everyday. Having to look at the ring he placed on her finger. He loved her….at least he thought he did. But as time went by, it seemed as more of a friendship. But Bianca was so good to him. Helped him with his college applications…listened to his fears…she was perfect….but just not…..he just didn't know anymore. He wanted to argue. He knew he sounded crazy…but he did…he wanted fire….like Julia.

Looking at his watch, it was 11:30. She was supposed to be here. Julia was supposed to be with him right now. He didn't know how these feelings occurred. It began with a stare. He had never noticed the hazel in her eyes….

_**Julia placed the punch bowl on the kitchen counter. Placing ice cubes in it, her ebony locks flowed to her waist as her pale skin accented her features. Smiling as she poured the punch, she was happy to do this. Mrs. Desousa had been nothing but a supportive woman to not only her but her and Eli's relationship. She was proud to help with CeCe's surprise birthday party. Looking up at the muscular tan boy who was placing balloons in the living, she just hated how she had to do it with Drew.**_

_**The cocky young man, who thought he knew everything about life. But he didn't. He didn't know how to be tactful….or how to console another…or how to…..ugh….just his presence there made her disgusted. Throwing the containers away, she hated how the siblings went to go get the cake….why? Grabbing the bouquet of flowers, she placed them on the coffee table in the living room.**_

"_**don't put it there." Drew retorted as she rolled her eyes. Placing it there anyway. He hated how this girl always had a bitter attitude. And had to control everything she touched.**_

"_**Never mind." He brushed her aside as he placed it on the table by the sofa himself.**_

"_**I like the other place better." The alabaster beauty folded her arms as Drew huffed in condescendence.**_

"_**Of course you would….." he shook his head as he placed a hand on his forehead. This girl was ridiculous. How did Eli deal with her? He couldn't wait till she left for her auditions.**_

"_**Whatever…you are just moving it just to be spiteful." She pushed his arm as he grabbed her wrist. Making her turn towards him. Looking at one another.**_

"_**What's your problem…..I thought today was going to a chill day for us?" The attractive man tried to be calm. Forgetting he was still holding her wrist.**_

"_**I want it to be…..but you just have to be difficult." Julia commented. "I came here because I love Eli and Bianca's mom to death…and every time you are here..it is like you try to get the best of me."**_

"_**Just say what the real problem….you always have to be in control of everything…its impossible to be…" He stated as she shook her head. Drew never noticed before how her lips puckered when she grew angry.**_

_**She didn't understand why he was staring at her like this. And why she didn't rip her arm from his grasp. And why she didn't notice how his brown eyes had real emotion inside of them….what was happening to her?**_

"_**Since when did you become a counselor?" Her witty remark made him huff.**_

"_**You just can't drop your defenses for anyone can you?" **_

"_**I do for Eli…." She stated trying to figure out how a conversation about flowers leaded to this.**_

"_**Yeah right." He commented as she grew angry. Who did he think he was?**_

"_**How the hell can you tell me about me and Eli's relationship. You have no right to dissect it. No right. I love him. We have a better relationship than you and Bianca. There is no way in hell I will ever be like Bianca…I will never lose myself in a relationship to the point where I lose myself." Julia said without thinking. Seeing him look at her oddly.**_

"_**That's because she cares Julia…..that is how people show their love for one another….you don't know one thing about love because you try to make it happen…it can't." He looked in her eyes. Seeing her become angrier by the minute. her mouth scrunching tighter in tighter. Snatching her hand away from him….she walked to the refrigerator. Hearing him follow her.**_

"_**What can't handle the truth." Drew leaned against the cabinet as she unwrapped the pasta salad….attempting to place the heavy bowl on the counter. Taking it from her hand, he helped her.**_

"_**I didn't need help."**_

"_**What the hell is wrong with you? You can't even admit that you….." He stated as she placed her hand on the counter. Hating how he was right. Hating his voice. His presence beside her. She wanted to hit him again. She wanted to just….**_

"_**There is nothing wrong with being strong." She defended herself…hating how he was in her mind. Hating how she didn't realize the power he held over her at this minute. Taking a deep breath, she felt a lone tear trickle down her face.**_

"_**But you are too strong…..there is nothing wrong with showing emotion." Drew didn't mean to make her cry. Wiping her tear away…he hated seeing the sight before him. It was like she was so removed from this world? Why didn't Eli notice this before? Touching her cheek, he realized something….something he didn't want to admit to himself.**_

_**Julia bit her lip as she felt his finger graze her face softly. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the touch. Wait…this couldn't happen….no….not…not now…..**_

"_**Umm…lets get back to decorating." She ignored the moment as he could only stare at her.**_

He just had to see her. He just had to be where she was…

…_**.**_

Clare still felt his lips on hers as she began to walk away. Touching them, she didn't want to be spontaneous this way. This wasn't like her….at all…and she was scared. She felt her world breaking at the very moment because she gave into a strong feeling. A feeling she had never felt before. And the text she just sent K.C. didn't reassure her of her love for the sandy blonde.

"Wait…wait….." Eli grabbed her….pulling her back in. He hated himself at the moment. For pushing himself on the beautiful red head. For wanting to kiss her even more. For having an instant connection with girl with the gift of words. In the darkness, he saw the fear in her eyes. He wasn't going to hurt her. Ever. He wasn't like the men who liked to take advantage of others. But wasn't he like that with Julia. Wasn't he settling because he didn't want t to be alone?

"I'm sorry. I should have backed off when you told me you had someone." He pried his hands away from her. Keeping enough distance between them. Still seeing the blue in her eyes. "I'm not that kind of guy….and I'm really sorry." He knew it wouldn't make it better. Just as much as he knew it couldn't happen again.

"I can't put it all on you." She bit her lip. "I partook in it too." She bit her look. "It just…can't happen again." And luckily it would never happen again. Because she would never go back to her sister's school again.

"…it won't….." He watched her leave him behind as he went to find Bianca.

Clare found herself still replaying the kiss in her head. The way he touched her. Tasted on her lips. Bitter….yet sweet. Damn it. She was surprised she could still see in the dark. Finding her sister sitting down, she looked at the police officer with a man in handcuffs.

"What was that about?" The third sister asked as Katie reluctantly told her. Holding herself from the shock.

"….are you alright…" The girl asked as the older nodded. The things that man would have done to her if she would have drank from the glass. Katie remembered the reports she had write of the children who had been molested. And how it broke her heart every single time. But why did Bianca have to be the one to save her? It took her so long to get over the girl. And no matter how many times she thought she found love, it wasn't. Biting her lip, she rested it on Clare's shoulder.

"We can go you know?" Katie shook her head. Clare was such a good sister to her. Always there for her. But she couldn't take away from her sisters. The two watched the blonde dance without a care in the world. She was grateful it happened to her than to Maya without a doubt. Tonight. Someone would be happy. Even if it wasn't her.

As much as Clare wanted to tell her sister what happened…it wasn't the right time. And it would never happen again. So then why was her heart still jumping? Why couldn't she get Eli out her mind?

…..

Bianca placed her hair in a ponytail as she laid in the bed. Memories resurfaced in her mind. What it felt like to have her at her side again. Like she was meant to be there. Like….nothing had ever changed. But it did. And it didn't change for the better. She thought that without the girl being there, she could focus on what she really needed…what she wanted.

Biting her lip, she tossed and turned in her bed. She hated the man who wanted to hurt her. To take her body away from her. But she hated how she was the one who intervened. She hated how her body responded being near her…but she hated how Katie saw her as this evil person who didn't want her to move on.

Did she? Was she acting like that? Katie had every right to move on without her. She didn't want her? She wasn't gay. She wanted Drew. She always wanted Drew. Since the moment she met him. Yet seeing her break in front of her like that…still hurt her….

"_**Katie...you are drinking it all." Bianca held the straw for the girl. They both couldn't deny the chocolate and peanut smoothie. And since Bianca couldn't finish it all by herself….why not give some Katie…..but she wanted some too.**_

_**Drinking after the girl, she noticed the look in her blue eyes. Finding herself blush, she shrugged it off. Who wouldn't be flattered by a beautiful girl. Being envious of her. Especially a girl like Katie. A girl who won first place at every competition. The girl who was her rock when her parents divorced when she was five. All the sleepovers and dance moves…and make up tips they shared.**_

_**Katie didn't mean to fall for her best friend. But no other girl treated her like Bianca. No other girl held her when she was sad…or came to her games and practices…or protected her from the bullies who tried to talk about her sexuality…even if she could handle them herself. But she hated how her emotions always got the best of her. And no matter how she tried to hide them…they always broke free.**_

"_**What do those eyes mean?" Bianca became scared as she felt her heart skip a beat at the piercing glare.**_

"_**Nothing." The athlete kept walking as the rebel pulled her hand as they sat on the park bench.**_

"_**Come on Matlin…tell me….do I have to ask Marisol." The badass admired her beautiful red hair. It was so soft to the touch. The many times she did her curls for her.**_

_**The perfectionist debated her decision. She didn't want to lose her best friend since birth. And Bianca knew she wanted to tell her something. Biting her lip, she shook her head as Bianca waited for her to speak.**_

"_**Katie tell me…you don't have a problem telling me whether or not I look good in a dress without pause….so what's up?" **_

"_**I…..I think…I have feelings for someone…" She looked at the ground.**_

"_**That's great…who is the lucky girl…..Mare?" Bianca waited for her to response. The two did work close in Student Council. And they did have their own inside jokes that she hated to admit to herself.**_

"_**No…she's cute…but she is into Mike…and he is definitely into her?" The president looked at the ground as she just wanted to blurt it out. But she couldn't find the right words.**_

"_**so who is it?" the rebel waited patiently as the other couldn't believe how dense she was being at the moment. Why couldn't she see it was her?**_

"_**Bianca….please…don't get mad…."**_

"_**O my God…it's Heather Poulette isn't it? I see the way you look at her legs when she isn't looking….."**_

"_**No…no….just shut up…." She stated as the rebel became quiet. "It's you." She bit her lip as she looked at her. **_

_**Did she just hear her right? Did this girl just admit to have a crush on her? Why would she like her of all girls?**_

"_**I'm….sorry….i shouldn't have said that…just forgive me for saying anything."**_

"_**Wait….wait…..Katie….you didn't do anything wrong." Bianca saw the girl try to stand up as she held her wrist. "You can't help how you feel." She saw the hurt of rejection in her eyes.**_

"_**No….Bianca….don't…..you can't reject me…and then try to comfort me at the same time." She let go of her wrist as she walked off.**_

"_**Katie….why are you acting you this…I still want to be your friend. Nothing has to change." The rebel followed her.**_

"_**Yeah…right now it doesn't…..but I…I have really have strong feelings for you Bianca…."**_

"_**Katie…no you don't….its just because I am so close to you…that's it….I am your crush by default."**_

"_**Don't tell me how I feel about you. You are not in my mind." The red head stated. She should have listened to Clare and never said anything.**_

"_**I…I am not patronizing you." She touched the hurt girl. Her hands on her shoulder as she looked into her blue eyes.**_

"_**Then stop talking to me like I am this delicate flower…I can get over it." Katie took offense by her actions. Even now, the rebel was to close to her.**_

"_**Katie…" Bianca touched her cheek. Trying to get her to see. That nothing had to change.**_

"_**Stop doing that….touching me…looking at me like that…making it so hard for me stop caring you. I cant do this anymore…I cant." The badass obeyed as she looked at the perfectionist.**_

_**The athlete hated how the rebel didn't know how much her words were hurting her. She was so special to her and yet…she wasn't special enough to be with her.**_

_**Bianca didn't know what to do. All she wanted was for Katie to feel secure in herself again. She loved the girl so much….but just as a friend. But it hurt her heart to see the girl hold back her tears.**_

"_**Where are you going?" Bianca tried to pull her back to her.**_

"_**Home…." Katie stated.**_

"_**I will call you."**_

"_**Please don't….just….i need space." Bianca found herself crying as the girl walked away.**_

Bianca didn't realize that that was the last moment she would ever spend with the girl. And it still hurt the most. To miss someone so badly, it was hard to breathe at times. Laying on her pillow, she grabbed her ring off the nightstand. Keeping Drew in her heart would erase the mistake she made. She had only hoped. But she knew it would not.

….

Julia unpacked her clothes from her suitcase. She was trying to convince herself that she wasn't this bad person. She wasn't this monster. Why hadn't she changed her number to keep him away? The many times he would ruin her day when she auditioning. The many times, she wished she would find him in her hotel room waiting on her. It should be Eli that she wanted. Why? Why was this happening to her? Funny how she would call girls whores...when she found herself as one of those girls who slept with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend.

Seeing her phone vibrate, she ignored it. It was just Drew. She wanted to turn it off, but she hoped Eli would eventually come back. Keeping her cool, she would give him his break. She was lying to herself again. Because she knew he wouldn't be back for her. Combing her hand through her curls, she heard the door knock.

Drew waited for her to answer. She wasn't going to run away from him. He wouldn't let her anymore. He would wait forever.

"Eli….." She opened the door without checking it first. Her mouth dropped at the sight of the tan man. His eyes glazed with pain as he came inside without being invited. It should be his name, she was saying.

"Go home Drew….i already told you earlier."

"You didn't mean it." He saw the longing in her eyes. "No call or text when you were gone for the past weeks. Do you know what that did to me?"

"It shouldn't have done anything to you. We aren't together….just because we hooked up once doesn't mean."

"Don't you dare lie about what happened that night? You wanted it just like me…and the minute you felt something…you ran." He called her out as she did not drop her defenses.

"Because I did not feel anything that night….which is why I am….."

"You are with Eli because you are in denial for what you feel for me." Drew adamantly said. "that night….I know you remember the way I felt inside of you. You can't lie about that…we were….."

"Drew….why are you so stubborn. I don't want you. I never did…we just wanted….." She began to lie…hating to see his heart break…hers break too. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"I want you…." Drew stated.

"I don't care…." Julia raised her voice. "Eli is the best man I have ever met. He is supportive of me…he takes care of me….." Memories of her ex passed through her mind. Thinking of ways to get him back. Thinking of ways to stay away from Drew.

"Not like I can." He tried to kiss her as she pushed him off.

"Stay away from me. Don't call me…don't text me…."

"If you want me to stay away from you then why did you answer the door?"

"I thought you were Eli…."

"No you didn't….you knew I would come here." The olive man touched her shoulders. His hands moving to her neck. His eyes never leaving hers. Her body did miss him…and his hers..

"You need need help." Julia pushed his hands away from her. Gripping the door, she opened the door as Drew waited for her to change her mind. Shaking his head, this girl was the most infuriating person he had ever met. She just couldn't admit the truth to herself. She wanted him…he knew it. As he reached the door, he quickly grabbed her waist. Kissing her. Tasting her like that last night. Feeling her give in. this was so wrong.

All she could think about was feeling Drew's touch more and more. Closing the door without breaking the kiss, Drew picked her up. Wrapping her legs around his waist, he carried her to her bedroom. Reminding them both of what their bodies missed.

….

Eli listened to Julia's plea on his voice mail.

No more.

Placing it on the charger, he just wanted to get rid of this feeling on his body. He wanted to get rid of Clare against his body. No cold shower could make this go away. Even Bianca's pain from seeing Katie after all these years. He didn't want to be like that. He didn't want to wake up one day and regret his actions. But he was his sister's brother. They thought just alike.

They weren't together. And he hated that he didn't feel guilty for tonight. For all the times Julia accused him of cheating on her. For her purposely starting arguments for no reason. She didn't use to be like this. What happened to the girl with the funny wit? He sensed change in her…but he didn't know what happened to her along the way.

Then he wondered if Clare was ever like this. Biting his lip, he knew it was never. Seeing her in the hallways, he found himself wanting to talk to her. But never could get the chance to. She was just so smart. He knew she would run away from a guy who use to drive a hearse. What was he thinking? Why would CeCe and Dwayne ever let him make a choice like that? Probably because she knew he would out grow out of it. Laughing cynically, he remembered a conversation with her.

"_**I cannot believe I am riding in a freaking hearse." Bianca placed her hand on her head in frustration. His infatuation with death was unbearable. And she hated being the badass who had the brother who wanted to be apart of The Walking Dead. Though it was a phenomenal show that she had to admit.**_

"_**come on Bianca…what ever happened to your risk taking ways? Katie must be making you soft." He teased as the girl rolled her eyes.**_

"_**Whatever…"she made sure she had her textbooks as began to park. Getting out the car, she noticed the red head from afar wearing a beautiful summer dress. Admiring her beautiful legs and athletic body.**_

"_**Are you sure you don't like…" Eli noticed the look in his sister's eyes as they came closer. He knew lust when he saw it. He just hated how Bianca didn't see it herself. Better yet…she didn't want to see it for herself. **_

"_**I'm sure…." Binx cut him off as she joined her friend.**_

_**Placing keys in his pocket, he accidently bumped into someone. Making her drop her books on the floor. Katie's shy sister who always sat in the back of his class.**_

"_**Silvia Plath…nice choice." He gathered her books as she nodded.**_

"_**yeah…I'm definitely the odd sister." She bit her lip. **_

"_**Why because you like Silvia Plath…."**_

"_**Because I am the only teenager who immerses herself in literature for fun." She shook her head as grabbed the last book in his hand. "thanks again." She walked of as he watched her.**_

She probably didn't even remember that moment. And he was shocked that he did. But he never met anyone with such angelic features. But now…she was a little more confident in herself. Though he wished he could help her with that. Damn it. He hoped he wouldn't have to see her so soon. He was lying. He would do anything to see her. And it was taking everything for him to not drive to Katie's and talk to her.

And….

And….

And…

He was crazy.

…..

The two laid there in the bed. Julia on his chest as he kissed her forehead. Both reveling in the feel of each other. It had three months since this had happened. And it felt like the first time. Just like before. Feeling tears on his chest, he kissed her. He wanted to make all this go away. His obligation to Bianca. Her obligation to Eli.

But it couldn't . Not with his parents at least. His mother was beyond unbearable.

"I cant believe we let that happen again." She looked down at him as he could only nod.

"We both wanted it too though….."

"you are right….but how can you not think of Bianca when you are with me?" She still felt him inside of her.

"Because I just don't….do you think of Eli." He felt her lower back…wanting to take her again. Make her scream. Make her moan. Make her sweat. 10 minutes ago he knew he woke up her neighbors. But he wanted them to hear. He wanted them all to know that she was his and only he could touch her in places she didn't know existed.

"No…." She admitted as looked in his eyes. "We broke up…." Seeing his eyes glow in hope. It was the best thing though." She hated to admit it aloud as she felt him rub her back. His mind in another place. "Drew…what's wrong?"

"Julia…when Adam died….I…I really couldn't live….and Bianca was there to show me the way…..but when you showed up…I found myself wanting to argue with you more and more. I never felt like in a long time. I want that passion that you have…." Julia almost cried at his confession. He rarely talked about his brother. And seeing him become weak like this showed her that maybe he did see something serious with her.

"Drew…." She kissed him as he drove his tongue in her mouth. Placing himself on top her…making her body his. Keeping himself in check. So that he would savor the moment. He didn't know when it would happen again. Feeling her scratch his back, he lived for this sensation. Her screams grew louder and louder as he moved faster and faster. The two moved faster and faster together. Creating their own beat.

"I love you…" Julia said aloud as they reached their climax together. Both looking at one another as Drew kissed her again.

"I love you too." He told her. This was first time they both said. But they both felt it. And they couldn't let this feeling go. Even now, he was still inside of her. Their eyes connecting as he kissed her sweaty forehead. Smirking, his confidence only heightened. He knew he was the only one who could make her scream like this. And she knew this too.

Julia couldn't deny this feeling no matter how much she hated it. She belonged to him. Her body knew this. Her spirit knew this. And hiding behind Eli wouldn't make this better. And tears fell onto her alabaster face. Drew's face softened as he wiped them away.

"I have to tell Bianca." Drew said firmly as the dark haired beauty nodded. It was only fair.

"I know…but what about your mom." She sniffled as Drew pecked her lips.

"She will just have to get over this. I want you…not Bianca….."

"But what about Bianca and Eli….they will be so hurt…I can't bare it…I just can't…." She stated.

"I know…but it has to be done…..i don't want to be lonely anymore….neither do you…" Julia could only nod as kissed her. Moving his body gently, the two continued to touch each other like never before.

…

Clare unconsciously threw the covers off her bed. Her body was becoming hotter by the minute. And her body couldn't handle it. She was trapped in her dreams…and it wouldn't release her. And….she didn't want them too. Only here would she feel his lips on hers again. And his body pressed against hers….his breath on her neck…she couldn't push him away. He was too strong for her. And she wanted him that way. She didn't want him stop…

_In the dark club, she felt a presence come behind her. Wrapping his arm around her waist. Closing her eyes, she relaxed in his touch as she felt his lips kissing her neck. Making her moan. Wanting to feel more of his lips on her. Turning her around, he found what he was looking for in her eyes. Taking her lips with his, he didn't care about the people dancing around him. He didn't care about her boyfriend. All he wanted was her._

_And with her body pressed up against his, he was going to have her. And she would let him. Shoving his tongue in her mouth, she didn't mind one bit as he led her away to a dark corner. The same dark corner. Away from any distractions. Away from the world. Pressing her body against the wall, he reached under her dress. Pulling her thong down._

"_So Clare Edwards wears these?" He teased as she shyly nodded. Glad he didn't see the blush on her face. Why did she believe in discretion now? She was letting a total stranger touch her body in a club. And she didn't care. She didn't care if she got caught…or if anyone watched. This wasn't her. But he unlocked this wild side inside of her._

"_Tell me you want me…." He looked in her eyes as his hand traveled up her inner thigh. Hearing her hiss with pleasure as her breathing quickened._

"_Yes….." She felt him lightly touch her pearl as he took her lips again. Not wanting anyone to hear her scream. Not wanting anyone to ruin this. Feeling her grip his shirt harder, he kissed her neck….hearing her moan softly. Feeling her hold onto to him for dear life._

_Clare was already seeing stars as she felt his finger give hre pleasure. And she wanted all he could give her. And as she felt the film of sweat on her body, she felt her legs open wider to give him more access. To make her feel good._

_Eli smirked as he watched her pale face. Feeling her get wetter by the minute, he gently moved his middle finger inside of her. Her moans were so much sweeter than Julia. _

"_O God….."Her body began to shake as she felt her body climax. Eli only removed his finger as he licked her bitter drops from his hand. Staring at her exhausted eyes. He held her waist to support her legs…._

"O God….." Clare sat up. Feeling the sweat on her forehead. On her body. Feeling the wetness between her legs. Never had a dream felt this real. And never had she dreamt like this before. With any boy. This lust was making it unbearable for her to breathe.

Grabbing her cell phone, she bit her lip at the text on her screen. K.C.

Good night.I luv you.

Laying down on the bed, she put her phone aside. This would all go away soon. She knew it would.

…..

Sitting on the couch, she turned off the TV. Holding her legs to her chest, she didn't know how to describe this night. And as much as she wanted to believe she would never see Bianca again, she knew she was lying to herself. Could she really believe that she wouldn't run into her and she worked with her brother. It was one of the reasons why she chose a college far far away. Yes she was running. And no she didn't care if she sounded immature. Tonight, she was expecting to see her and Drew together. The perfect couple. Since high school. …

"_**Want to come eat lunch?" Marisol asked as the red head shook her head. **_

"_**Come on…you have to eat….and frankly I hate being the go between you and Bianca…" the black beauty informed.**_

"_**I can't Mare…I just can't." She saw the two kissing at their lockers. Their tongues in each other's mouths as they had no discretion. Why was Bianca hurting her like this?**_

"_**So you are just going to hide until you graduate….remember….you were the one who dropped Bianca not the other way around." Her sister informed.**_

"_**That's because it is hard to be around someone that you love." Katie finally admitted. "I can't be there every time she looks at some guy. Knowing that I can never have her…It sucks being in Perino's class with her. And everyday she looks at me…like she is waiting for me to change my mind…I can't do that….."**_

"_**I know you can't Katie-kins…." She watched Drew place his hand on her butt as the rebel laughed. She just wanted to throw up.**_

"_**I know I seem petty….and don't get me wrong. I am happy that she is with someone who she loves…..but I would be a liar if I said that I wish it wasn't me."**_

"_**So…do you want to try to break them up or something….." Mare tried to make her feel better. "I can definitely tell the best lie….."**_

"_**I wish…but it is not going to make her see me that way. She's straight….and even if she were gay, she wouldn't be interested in me….."The two walked passed the loving couple. Not seeing Bianca look at the red head with sadness.**_

"_**You sell yourself too short Matlin." Marisol put her arm around her friend.**_

She hated how this girl made her relive those memories in high school. The days where she was still learning about herself. The days where she realized how childish she was. Bianca didn't choose to be straight. And she didn't choose to be gay…

"Couldn't sleep either?" Clare sat beside her sister. Resting her head on her shoulder. Looking at Maya dead to world.

"I wish Darcy were here." Katie said as the other nodded. Their oldest sister who had knowledge beyond years.

"She would probably tell you that you should thank Bianca…for what she did for you…..and then tell you to slap her for putting you through emotional torture….and keep going." The two laughed as the blonde's snore made them laugh harder.

"Clare…." Katie shook her head.

"You know I am right. It has been like 5 years and you have to move on. You have to. I mean she is the reason why your past relationships haven't worked out. You always compare them to her." Clare knew her sister.

"That's not true…."

"yes it is. You have to let it go. Start anew Katie…..please for your sake." She kissed the girl's forehead. She hated that Clare was right as usual. But she hated how seeing Bianca triggered every feeling she was trying to run away from. But that was life's morbid humor. It always found a way to knock you in the head and in the heart.

...

**AN: Expect to see a new chapter of Wake Me Up this week.** Thanks to everyone who is reviewing my story. I love you all.


	3. Counting Stars

Counting Stars

One Republic

Chapter 3

...

Eli let the cold water rush over him in the shower. But it wasn't cold enough. It could not cool his body down from last night. And the night before. Two nights and he woke up as restless as before. That damn girl who had so much power over him that he didn't understand himself. How she haunted him in his. And how he made her his every time. Giving her a better taste of him each time. In his dreams. Wrapping the towel over his body, he cursed his thoughts as he felt his hardness.

He wasn't in the mood to work. Not after this weekend. Not after he unofficially ended it with Julia and then found another hours later. Not found….more like realized. He realized a girl who was right under his nose should be the one. And though he knew….she didn't want to. Clare stated that she had a boyfriend. And nothing would break that up. And he had to respect that. And as much as he told himself that he wouldn't see her again. He knew he would. Putting on his clothes, he knew Katie would unleash a hurricane when she arrived. She was always the protective sister. Especially to Clare. And she knew the younger sister told. Hearing the doorbell ring, he opened it seeing the gorgeous athlete shake a little bit. A worried expression on his face.

"I'm fine." Katie held herself as she folded her lips. He knew what happened to her. Of course Bianca told him about the other night. And though she was able to avoid it, she was still scared. But not just of men. Of people in general. It was as if she could trust no one but those close to her.

"Are you sure? I mean…you can call Mr. Finley to tell him you can't make it today. I mean….you hardly ever miss any days. The kids need a break from you anyways." Eli did his infamous smirk.

"No…I need to work. Get my mind off of that man…off of ….." She held her tongue. "Lets just go." He only nodded as he grabbed his bag and iPad.

"Ummm….I really…can't believe I am bringing this up…but….do you think Bianca would be comfortable talking to me again. Face to face…no one else around." Her question caught his attention as she shrugged.

"I don't think she would mind one bit." Eli grinned as they got in her car. "I mean….she really does miss your friendship…and I know you do too."

"I do…" Katie finally admitted. "I just made such a mess of things in high school….and last night Bianca saved my life. She deserves a thank-you face to face." She couldn't believe she was putting her heart through this.

"Well…she is coming to the school today to help out with my play….so you are definitely going to see her." Eli tried to make the red head feel comfortable. He was waiting to hear if Clare was coming to visit her today too. Silly wish. A dumb wish. But as he watched the coach drive, he saw the love in her eyes for Bianca. Love he never saw in Drew's eyes for her. And it sucked. To love someone and they would never return it. But it was even worse when you loved someone and you didn't even realize it just yet.

_**Bianca ran to her room. Dropping her bag on the floor as she rushed to the closet. Searching. Today was a great day. A really good day. And she would surprise her best friend.**_

"_**What's the rush for?." Eli leaned against the door frame as his sister ignored him. searching diligently. It took a while, but she finally became accustomed to Eli's crude humor.**_

"_**Do you think this is cute?" Bianca chose a high-low skirt and tank top. **_

"_**Woah…what's the occasion….." Eli never saw the girl so giddy before. "Did Drew finally ask you out?"**_

"_**No dipshit….Katie got a call back for the National Soccer Team. I'm so proud of her. She didn't think she would get the call. I just wished she had as much confidence in herself like I did."**_

"_**So this is a date for you two?" The girl blushed at her brother's comment.**_

"_**Stop with the lesbian jokes…." Bianca said firmly as Cece looked inside the room. Seeing the step-siblings bicker.**_

"_**It's called a joke. Didn't know it would get under your skin so much." Eli huffed as Cece smiled at her beautiful children. This was a good choice she and Dwayne ever did.**_

"_**So you and Drew are finally going out?" The mother heard the her daughter's irritated groan.**_

"_**No…this is for Katie…." The rebel said with defeat. They never listened.**_

"_**O…."the blonde woman stated.**_

"_**Mom don't start."**_

"_**I'm not…." CeCe held up her hands in defense. Her daughter didn't even know how she was practically floating.**_

"_**Mom…Katie has been my friend since kindergarten…"**_

"_**I know that baby girl. I have always like Katie. She is the best friend you have ever had, but I wouldn't love you any less if….." The mother began.**_

"_**Mom please stop. I am not gay." The rebel looked through her jewelry box. The rhinestone hoops the jock got for her. Perfect.**_

"_**I didn't say you were. I was just letting you know….."**_

"_**Mom…she doesn't like me….just because she is gay does not mean she likes every girl she talks too."**_

"_**I didn't say that baby girl. I just don't want you to be scared because you think your friendship will be destroyed because….."**_

"_**Mom…me and Katie may be getting older but nothing will ever change…now can I please leave so I can take her to dinner…"**_

"_**Sure."**_

Eli didn't think the teasing would upset her so much. But now it made sense. Even then she felt something for the strong willed red head. She was just trying to hide it from herself and from others. But he saw…and he knew CeCe saw too.

Katie prepared herself to be destroyed today. She wasn't ready to get her heart broken again. How could anyone still love someone after 5 years of not seeing them? Feeling a tear linger, she kept her eyes straight. Hoping Eli didn't see. But she knew he did.

…

He didn't know how he was going to do this. There was never a right moment to break your fiancé's heart. But it had to be done. And he made this easier than it sounded. He didn't even think about his mother's reaction to this. Standing behind the counter in the middle of the mall, he was grateful no customers were there. So much on his mind. So much was said between the two last night. After many months of hating each other, they were finally strong enough to drop their defenses for one another. Checking his cell phone inventory, his mind wondered to the first time they kissed…..

"_**Thanks for picking me up from the airport." Julia sat in the passenger seat of his car. Holding her hands. Ignoring his eyes. Why couldn't she have arrived after 3:30? Eli or Bianca could have picked her up then. Not Drew. She noticed him stealing glances at her as they got on the interstate.**_

"_**Do you have a staring problem?" She tried to push him away as he only shook his head. There she was again. Raising her defenses every time. He saw the way she stared at him…when Eli wasn't looking. When Bianca wasn't looking. At their family gatherings. Seeing the dark look in her eyes when he would touch Bianca. He knew that look. And he wasn't delusional. Because he felt the same way. This was just a silly crush. Nothing more. Nothing less. The simple love hate relationship. It was just lust.**_

"_**No…I don't…but apparently you do. You always do. I thought we were passed this phase."**_

"_**What phase? "Her voice kept it sterness.**_

"_**You pushing me away because I always remind you of what you don't want to realize about yourself."**_

"_**And what would that be?" her voice sounded calm. He only huffed. Sure she could act. But he knew when she was lying. It was as if his instincts were always right about her. And she knew this about him too.**_

"_**Nothing." He kept his eyes straight. What was this infatuation that he had with her. Ever since that birthday party, she was all he could think of. **_

_**Julia hated being so close to him. Feeling his eyes on her. She was an actress and yet she couldn't keep her emotions in check. Folding her lips, she stared at his hands. Both on the steering wheel. His strong hands that she wanted to touch. Wishing he would touch her. Finding herself becoming jealous of him and Bianca. She tried her best to lie to herself, but this man always made it hard for her not to blush. Taking a deep breath, she looked out the windshield. Listening to the classical music playing from his radio.**_

"_**I would have never thought that you would listen to this."**_

"_**Well there are lot of things that you don't know about me….so don't assume…."He said with bite as the girl shook her head.**_

"_**I wasn't….." Julia backed off feeling another argument about to start.**_

"_**Please….you stereotyped me the minute you met me…"**_

"_**No I didn't…..I stereotyped you the minute you opened your mouth." She bit back as she saw him pull off of the road. What was he doing?**_

"_**What are you…" She slightly panicked.**_

"_**You know what. You could have at least said thank you for picking you up from the airport in a nice way. Or better yet…called a taxi…..but you are insulting me and I am not going to let you do it." The manager defended himself.**_

"_**O please get off of your pedestal. Like you didn't make a first impression of me when you saw me. Everyone does." Folding her arms, she was sick of his egotistical ways.**_

"_**Well mine was right. I thought you were a bitch. And you are." He turned the ignition off as Julia hit his arm. Hard.**_

"_**Don't call me a bitch. You dumb arrogant asshole." Looking him in the eye as he begin to mentally snicker.**_

"_**Why because I am telling you the truth. You don't know how to form an emotional connection with anyone…and you dare say you have one with Eli…." He saw her hand on the car door.**_

"_**Whatever." She got out of the car as Drew laughed at her immaturity. This girl was crazy. And he wanted to see how long it would take her to come back. **_

_**Julia wasn't a bitch. Not to just anyone. It was always a reason. And she hated that just because she wasn't an extravert like Bianca, she was put into that category. She was the quiet girl who had a small group of friends. She liked it like that. Damn it. Drew was such an asshat. Doing her best not to trip over the rocks in her heels, she just hated him. she always analyzed herself after talking to him. just like at Eli' mother's party. Some days he could be the sweetest guy.**_

_**Drew couldn't believe she just got out of his car. He didn't realize she was that dramatic. And he had to catch up to her. To convince her to come back with him. Bianca was going to kick his ass when she found out.**_

"_**Julia…." He called to her.**_

"_**Don't you see I am walking…." Her pride wouldn't let her stop. Which was why his hand did. Gripping her hand, he became surprised when he felt her grip it back. What were they doing?**_

"_**Just come back in the car. I am sorry alright…I was being stupid. I don't have a filter. Please." His hand was still in hers as her pride wouldn't let her move.**_

"_**Why do you hate me so much Drew?" She asked. Looking in his eyes.**_

"_**I don't hate you. You are the one who hates me…" He answered back as she shook her head.**_

"_**I don't hate you Drew…you just frustrate me to no end. Always ….ever since that…never mind just forget. "she tried to break free of his grasp as he wouldn't let her. **_

"_**What were you about to say?" He wanted to know. He needed to know.**_

"_**It doesn't matter." She avoided his eyes as he lifted her chin to see her beautiful eyes. The wind blowing through her hair. No wonder why Eli couldn't keep himself away. Eli. His future brother in law. And she was his.**_

"_**What if it does though." He looked into her eyes. Not hearing the cars drive past them. Wanting to kiss her. Like before. But would she let him? Please don't stop this from happening. **_

_**Julia placed her hands on his chest. Attempting to push him off. And she didn't. feeling his lips on hers. Her body welcomed his. As if it were meant to happen. No one would have ever guessed that the dream jock in high school would be attracted to the gorgeous gothic queen. Who knew that they wanted more.**_

"_**That can't happen again." She pushed him off as he could only nod. She didn't say she hated him. or that she hated the kiss. But they couldn't pretend it didn't happen either. **_

Hearing a noise, he looked up from his clipboard. His mother. His meddling….controlling mother. But she did have reasons for her actions. Kissing her on the forehead, he smiled.

"Hey mom…." He already knew why she came.

Audra admired her son who grew up into the responsible man before her. So much had happened over the course of time. So much damage had been done. To the point where she thought it could not be repaired…but somehow they made it out alive. They survived. And were finding a reason to live on. To live on without Adam.

Her beautiful son taken away from them because of his carelessness. Texting and driving. Holding herself together was hard to do at times. But she would fake it until she made it. And if she could, she would make sure that Drew would.

"Hey babe…... Carolyn found the best deal on the cake." The mother beamed as she only saw the nonchalant look in his eye.

"Mom you could have sent me a text for that." He looked through his records. Avoiding her gaze because she only saw what she wanted to see.

"I know….I just needed to see you." She took a deep breath. "I went to Adam's grave today to talk to him." She said sadly as her son grabbed her hand. He knew she was depending on this wedding. She was depending on him to bring her solace….and he hated to live with this guilt in his heart.

"We won't ever forget him. He would be happy this was happening….." Drew hesitantly said. Knowing that Adam wouldn't if he knew the truth. He knew his brother was looking down on him calling him an idiot for not being man enough to go after what he wanted. Even now he felt his brother at his side. Telling him to speak up. Tell the truth. This was his life not hers.

Audra noticed his hesitation without a doubt. She jut didn't know what else she could do to convince her son that he was making the right choice. This family needed some good news. Now more than ever. And Bianca was everything she wanted in a daughter-in-law…

"Mom…" Drew interrupted her train of thought. Trying to summon the nerve to tell her. They all needed to know. Julia needed to know that he chose her….

Looking the woman in the eye, his mouth opened. Preparing to hear the words aloud for himself.

"I can't…..do this….." He said as Audra laughed the comment off. She always did this.

"This is pre-wedding jitters….your father panicked like crazy the month before we got married too. You are his son." She touched his face as she kissed his cheek.

"Mom you aren't listening." He thought of Julia. Seeing her beautiful smile. Hearing her laugh. Wanting to be with her all the time.

"Yes I am….I know you better than yourself. You have to believe that….." The mother assured seeing her son finally accept her statement."

"Mom…I just…..I don't want to make the wrong decision….."He felt his heart drop. Backing down to her. Always. Why couldn't he be a real man for once? Why couldn't Adam be here to get her to listen?

"Don't worry. This is the best decision. I promise. You will not regret it." She assured. "See you this evening." She walked off.

He was truly sacrificing his happiness.

….

Bianca sat up in her bed, refusing to look in her mirror. She didn't want to see the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. How could that girl get under her skin like that? She hated Katie…..hated her. Placing her feet on the carpet, she refused to look at her alarm clock. No she didn't oversleep, but her mind and body weren't registering. Shaking her head, she was grateful she taught private dance lessons. She could just easily send her texts to students and their mothers. Hearing her phone vibrate, she threw it on the floor.

She didn't want to talk to Audra right now. From her strong personality to her controlling ways…..she wasn't in the mood. This was supposed to be her and Drew's wedding. And no matter how much she fought for control, Drew never stood up for her. Never. But she couldn't expect anything else because he always let her take control from the beginning.

Drinking her coffee, she looked outside her apartment window. At the beautiful view of the park. The place where everyone ran away to in this town. The place where Katie would be when she was sad. Biting her lip, she shouldn't be thinking about the gorgeous red head. But she worried for her. Hoping she was alright. Telling Eli to let her know if she wasn't. She wasn't Katie's keeper. And she couldn't let her broken relationship taint the place Drew proposed to her…..

_**Was he making the right choice? Of course he was. Bianca was beautiful. Smart. Driven. She knew what she wanted from this life. and she was faithful to him. After years of on and off chaos, they finally matured. And established each other. And he mom was always there to remind him that he wasn't getting any younger. And good girls were hard to come by. Which was why he held the ring in his pocket. Lacing their fingers together, they continued to walk. Seeing children play with one another….couples cuddle on benches….Drew did want this luxury in life.**_

_**Bianca rested her head on his shoulder as they continued to walk. Yes she was in love with Drew. But she was scared. Scared that she didn't know what love meant. Scared that the beating of her heart would stop one day. She didn't want that for herself. She knew she deserved to be happy. And now she would graduate college and be established. What more could anyone want.**_

_**And as they walked, her mind still remembered the day she broke Katie's heart. So many years had passed. But she still remembered. Still saw the look of hurt in her eyes. Never admitting it to anyone, she would always read her facebook page. She just wondered if she was doing the things she always wanted. And the athlete was. But she wanted to be a part of…**_

"_**Bianca…..have you ever thought of settling down?" Drew asked the random question as the rebel nodded.**_

"_**Never thought I would say this…but I do. I know I can be a hard ass but I find myself thinking of me and kids and…" She caught herself as she felt the blush on her cheeks. She didn't want to say the wrong name.**_

"_**I understand….me to. I mean…things are going well for me…I will be getting promoted as the district manager soon." He said as the girl jumped in his arms.**_

"_**That's great babe." She kissed him as he looked in her eyes.**_

"_**But you want to know what else would be great….."**_

"_**What….." **_

"_**If I had to spend it with." Her saw her eyes widen. Was this happening to her. Was this a dream?**_

"_**Bianca…." He got down on one knee. Holding her hand. Looking up in her eyes. Seeing the tears in her eyes. "You would make me the happiest man alive if you were to marry me."**_

"_**Yes….." She didn't let him finish. "Yes…." He picked her up as they kissed.**_

Looking at the piece of jewelry, she wanted this. She just wasn't as sure of it as before. Maybe it was pre-wedding jitters, but Drew just seemed to distance himself from the planning process. She wanted it to be a day that they both remembered. This was the day every girl dreamed about. Walking down the aisle to the love of your life. she didn't want to divorce. She didn't want to be hurt. Sipping her coffee, she prepared herself to endure another grueling day.

….

Clare knocked on the door anxiously as she heard noises behind the apartment door. She knew they were here. And they would open this door for her or else she would keep knocking.

"Put some clothes on Dave." Clare laughed at the comment when she saw the door open with the small Muslim girl hugging her.

"Looks like you two are still enjoying the honeymoon phase."

"Ha ha ha" Dave hugged the red head as he poured all three of some coffee as they sat on the couch. "So what brings you to our happy home?" Alli looked at her handsome husband as he laid his head on his wife's lap.

"1 month today." Alli kissed his forehead as Clare looked at them with seriousness. She wanted what they had. True love. She wasn't putting herself on a timeline…but couldn't help but think that something was wrong with her. All of her friends had someone to count on. She wished Adam was here to guide her. Damn she missed him.

"What's wrong?" The small girl asked as the girl shrugged.

"I just wondered what it would be like if Adam were here?" The three basked in their friend's memory who was resting now.

"He would have been the loudest cheerer at the wedding that is for sure." Dave took a deep breath as they all sipped.

"Yeah..and he also would have scolded me for what I did last night at a club."

"Clare Edwards….what have you been up too." Alli teased knowing her friend was exaggerating as usual.

"I kissed another guy who wasn't K.C. last night." She stated as the two looked at her. Not expecting this to come from her mouth. Not sweet innocent Clare Bear. Who always was the first to answer questions in class. Who always was the first to help the teacher.

"Were you drunk?" Alli tried to make sense of this.

"No…" Clare told them story as their eyes widened. Not saying a word.

"Go on say it. I am a slut. The minute my boyfriend took off..I kissed the next attractive man I saw."

"Depends. How cute was he? And how good was the kiss?" Als waited as the red head shook adamantly.

"You sound like you did in high school. This is serious. I really messed up." Clare stated.

"That must have been one hell of a kiss." Dave commented as the writer shook her head. Still, his lips were on hers. And the feel of his hand on her waist wouldn't move away. No…she didn't need this.

"Well…it was a mistake…..its not like you were looking for a guy to kiss." Alli hated that the girl was being hard on herself. Things like this happened at times. "You aren't married Clare."

"No but I wouldn't want K.C. to do the same to me." She sipped wishing the caffeine could relax her more.

"You are right. So are you going to tell him?" The husband and wife waited for her to speak.

"I haven't yet..i want to…."

"Hold it…don't be to hasty." Alli stated.

"I can not believe you are saying that."

"I mean…think about it…do you really want to destroy K.C.'s trust in you for a moment…an honest mistake…..you didn't sleep with him. And you said it yourself…he was just some random guy. You won't see him again." Alli stated not knowing the whole story. And Clare decided…..to leave that part out.

"I don't know Alli."

"Clare…look at the big picture here…." Alli tried to make sense of her situation.

"I am trying to….." The red head assured them as the two looked at their friend.

"why don't you come to Poetry Night at The Blind Tiger….nice music…a few drinks….coffee that is." Alli offered as Clare shrugged.

She needed something to bring her spirits up.

…

K.C. looked at his phone. No response yet. He didn't mean to make her feel insecure about herself. She already was. Placing the phone back in his bag, he was grateful they had won their game. Now he was back on the road to Toronto. But he didn't know what to expect from Clare when he got back. This was not like to her to not respond to him. And never had a girl made him react like this. Not K.C. Guthrie. The promised athlete who had his future written in the stars. The man who thought he would never be tied down. But all of sudden, it seemed as if Clare was the only girl who made him think of the future…

"_**I like the thought of us?" He looked down as she rested her head on his chest. He loved lazy days like this. Days where resting on the couch and watching movies was good enough. Feeling her red tresses in his fingers, he kissed her forehead.**_

"_**What do you mean?" She looked up at him. biting her lip as the blush formed on her cheeks.**_

"_**I mean….I don't know….I guess I really care for you." He shyly said as she smiled brightly.**_

"_**You guess?"**_

"_**I mean…I really care about you…I never really had a good relationship. A strong relationship…..with my mom or my dad.."**_

"_**That's alright…you have me now." Clare kissed him as took advantage of her lips. Turning them over as his hands found her torso. Her flawless skin. Her piercing blue eyes. Why didn't he notice her before when they were in high school. He was such an idiot.**_

"_**K.C.?" She stuttered as the closeness. She had never had a boyfriend before. And what she was feeling scared the hell out her. The butterflies in her stomach were causing her to jump as she felt him kiss her stomach.**_

"_**It's ok…on your time." He kissed her.**_

"Well someone is definitely in love." He heard a voice. One of his teammates. His stupid best friend and brother.

"Shut up. Fitz." The athlete turned his ipod up.

"What its not everyday a guy turns down Jess Martello." The former bully said.

"What is the power that Clare Edwards has over you? You aren't getting any….and you are still faithful."

"Why don't you get your life and get out of mine."

"Ohhh…burn." Fitz said with sarcasm. "But you know I am right. You are going to want some eventually. Love can't make you stop. No matter how hard you fall.

K.C. only ignored the boy's comment.

…..

Bianca drank her champagne as she saw Drew put his phone in his pocket. Who was he texting? Probably his assistant manager. Looking at the Torres immaculate home, she wondered would this be her life with Drew? Would she have the best of everything and yearn for nothing. She wanted to know what that felt like, but no one could be completely happy. And seeing Drew daze in and out of Carolyn's conversation…it was like he didn't…..no he did want this.

They both wanted this.

"How about a Midnight in Paris?" The exuberant wedding planner looked at the beautiful couple. Their eyes lacking the glimmer. The glimmer of being in love. No matter how hard they tried to hide it from everyone else. But with Audra there ….could anyone be truly happy around the woman.

"Umm….that sounds kind of cliché." Audra intervened as Bianca bit her lip. This was her wedding.

"I think it sounds lovely." Bianca tried to put the woman in her place. Looking at Drew beside her. He did nothing but tune out.

"I thought you guys wanted the beach wedding?" The mother asked.

"I just want to know my options. That all." Why couldn't CeCe have taken off for today from the radio station? But she had to learn to stand strong against Audra.

"Nothing wrong with that." Carolyn showed them the samples of colors. "A lot of people are trying champagne….navy and green….you two look more of a traditional couple. How about black and red and white…..it speaks beauty."

"More like simple….." Audra saw the two women roll their eyes at her. "We don't want simple. We want elegant and class."

"Audra…this is my wedding. Last time I checked I thought I had the choice to decide this." Carolyn smiled at the girl. Grateful she told the woman off.

"Ok…just as long as you two are happy." She stalely said as she nudged Drew.

"What?" He looked at the two of them. "O yeah…..I like those colors…." He saw Bianca glare daggers at him as she left the room.

"Bianca….Bianca." The man called after her. Knowing she had the right to be mad at him. and he wasn't making this easier for them. He had to do this. Put his foot down. He had the hurt the girl who used to be one of the best things in his life.

"What's your problem Drew….do you not want to be here anymore…you have been zoned the minute you got here." Her eyes showed her defeat. She couldn't do this by herself. She needed her mother with her now. Even Eli and her father would do….

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I have been feeling stressed." He looked into her eyes. Placing his hands on her should as he took a deep breath. "Bianca….I…I have to tell you…."

"Tell me what?" The girl cut him off. Waiting for the words to come out.

"I…..I…I…" He didn't have the nerve to. But Julia deserved to be fully his. He didn't want her to share him. "I am just nervous that's all. It will pass."

Bianca swallowed the lump in her throat. Yes. This was the right thing for them both. This wedding would make everything clear for them again. As long as one didn't give up, there was always hope.


	4. Counting Stars part 2

Counting Stars

Part 2

Chapter 4

...

Clare couldn't help but feel the eyes of someone on her as she made a salad at little bar in the cafeteria. Since when did she become paranoid like this? She hated Alli for making her watch Pretty Little Liars with her. Mentally chuckling, she returned to her best friend as they sat down. Watching CNN displayed on the flat screen televisions, Alli tried to tune out the noise as she chewed.

"The news has become so depressing." She shook her head. She should be grateful her classes were over by 12 today because tomorrow was a full load of labs. "Another Politian having an affair." She said aloud as she bit her lip. "Sorry."

"Thanks a lot Als. As if I don't feel bad enough." She looked at the petite Muslim. Not aware of a thin Asian listening and inferring their conversation.

Did she just hear this right? Did innocent Clare Bear cheat on K.C. Guthrie?

"Come on Clare….give yourself a break." Alli rolled her eyes as her friend's high morality. It happened two days ago…

"Alright…alright." The red head continued to eat. It wasn't the fact that she did it. It was the fact that she wanted to do it again. Her dreams were becoming more and more….not Clare Edwards.

Jess only ate from her plate as her friends continued to talk about their prospects. Their many prospects. She just had one in mind. K.C. Guthrie. Not only was he a Greek God in high school. But even more of a God here. She didn't care if she was just a freshman here. She would make her mark. And she didn't care about his true love. And obviously Clare didn't care about him. How could you look at another man when K.C. was on your arm…

_**The gorgeous Asian looked as the football team parked in the driveway of their sorority house. Another Saturday night meant another party. Hearing their steps, the girls smiled at each other eagerly. And Jess was ready this time. Watching as they set the keg down in the living room. To prove to him that she wasn't that silly freshman girl in high school. Now, she knew the power she held on men. And she would get what she wanted.**_

_**Seeing a football team and her sisters mingle with each other, she grabbed a cup from their kitchen. Pouring two glasses of beer. Mentally checking to see if her torso was showing and her jeans accented her slim figure perfectly. Ignoring her fear, she found the football player talking to Fitz. O god. Fitz. The trailer trash of Degrassi. Now he was here to hit on every desperate girl here.**_

"_**Well well…if my eyes don't deceive me. Jessica Martello." She blushed at the sandy blonde…handing him a drink.**_

"_**Well K.C. Guthrie. You haven't changed one bit." She began to flirt as Fitz stood back at the sexy girl.**_

"_**But you definitely have." He sipped the alcohol. Grateful for his high tolerance.**_

"_**Is that good?"**_

"_**Yeah." He looked her body up and down. Damn. She definitely grew up.**_

"_**so tell me…..what's it like being the star quarterback….."**_

"_**Good..but how have you become accustomed to campus life? I know you have been getting hit on by every fraternity boy and athlete." Fitz rolled his eyes at their flirtations.**_

"_**Correct...but I only want one man." She sipped as she looked at him with lust. Grabbing his hand. "How about we go somewhere else…alone…." Grabbing his hand as worry stained his face.**_

"_**I…cant….I mean….." He released her hand, hating the disappointment on her face.**_

"_**You don't want to…." She offered as he shook his head.**_

"_**Jess you are a beautiful girl. But I have a girlfriend…."K.C. honestly said. His friend looking at him as if he were stupid. Maybe he was.**_

"_**She doesn't have to know…" Jess knew she could get him all to herself in no time.**_

"_**I…I just can't….." He pushed her back as she only nodded. **_

"_**I have to respect that….you are really good guy K.C." She left his side. Walking slowly. So that he could notice her body from afar.**_

"_**How could you give that up." Fitz asked the boy.**_

"_**I have no idea." K.C. shook his head.**_

Jess saw the two friends leave the cafeteria. Clare didn't know how close she was losing the boy. Whatever it took, he was soon to be hers.

…

Touching the tombstone, Drew sat on his knees. Tears falling from his face. And more would come because this void could not be filled. Remembering the news from the doctors, he hated his brother instantly. It was because of his own actions, that he was gone from them….away from their grasp. And he needed him now more than anything. Not just in spirit.

"Adam…I really need you now. Because…I don't know what to do without you. Mom refuses to see that I don't want to do this. Bianca wants this so bad and she deserves this. I want to please everyone but myself….i wish I was like you. I wish I could just go for the girl and not care. And I know that you are watching over us because I refuse to believe that your story just ends when…leave this world." He listened to the wind blow. Closing his eyes, expecting Adam to show up beside him now. But this wasn't a fantasy.

"I want to do the right thing. I do. I didn't expect to fall for Julia and neither did she. And I don't want to hurt Eli and Bianca especially…but I know it has to be done. I really miss you. I will see you again." He stood up seeing Julia behind him.

"It's ok to miss him Drew." Julia hugged the man in her arms. Feeling him grip her waist. "He was a great person I know he was."

"How did you know where to find me?" The man whimpered.

"I honestly just guessed." She wiped his eyes with her thumbs. Grateful he was here. Grateful that he didn't push her away…like she used to do him. but not anymore. Her body wouldn't allow her too.

"I tried….I did….but my mom…..I will just have to make her listen harder. Because I can't go on another day living like this."

"I understand Drew. I do…we will do this together. But I know when we say this…..we are really going to hurt them. Even if me and Eli aren't together anymore."

She shrugged as Drew pecked her lips. They were both surprised at herself. Usually after they made love, she would feel so guilty that she pushed herself on Eli harder.

"But I know he is going to put it together that I was you while being with me. And Bianca is going to kick my ass." She shook her head.

"I won't let her. Her or Audra won't lay a hand on you."

"But they deserve to. I broke up you two. You and Bianca are a beautiful couple."

"And we aren't…its not how people look together. It is the chemistry between them. When you are with me….i don't want you to go. Ever. That was why I kept texting you when we were making wedding plans. I need you to be here. And you need me too." She could only nod as they rested their foreheads against each other.

…..

_Waking up from her nap, she heard the shower on. But Katie and Maya weren't here. She was sure of this. Curiosity guiding her feet, she went to the source of the noise. Walking inside the bathroom, she saw the mysterious boy._

_Eli._

"_I was wondering when you would wake up." He kissed her…sliding his tongue in her mouth as she gave into this feeling. It was like he was meant to be here. In her life._

_Blushing at the sight of him taking his clothes off, she avoided his gaze. Feeling him lift her chin with his finger, he asked a question with his eyes as she only nodded. Letting him take her shirt off._

"_You ok?" He felt her shake as she folded her lips. She could only nod. She couldn't process what was going on. Words weren't powerful enough to tell him that she wanted all he could give her. _

_Eli admired her soft curves as he unzipped her pants. Helping her step out of them. Her pale skin glowing. But this wasn't good enough for him. Unhooking her bra, he kissed her to calm her down. she didn't need to worry about how she looked to him. she was perfect to him._

"_You are so beautiful." He slid her panties down as he guided them in the shower. Feeling the warm water on their bodies. Grabbing a towel and body wash, he gently poured some on her body. Hearing her gasp at his touch. Trusting him to wash her body._

"_Eli." She could say his name as she felt him wash her back…kissing her neck from behind…moving her closer to his chest. He wanted her to feel his hardness. Turning her around, she plunged her tongue into his mouth. Touching each other. Chest to chest. His hand grabbing his lower tongues cheeks._

"_Eli…please…I need you." She felt him plunge inside of her. Making her scream..filling her…completing them both. Wrapping her legs around his waist._

Knock, Knock

Clare woke up from the dream. Taking deep breaths as she heard the noise again. Someone was here. She had to get the door, but her body was still not over her dream. Feeling him inside of her. She hated Maya for losing her key. Biting her lip, she realized it was a good thing though. She should be dreaming about K.C. She should be wanting the experience with him.

"Maya…I told you…." She stopped in mid sentence seeing K.C. His beautiful smile plastered as he hugged her.

"You made it early." She didn't know if she was happy or not. Biting her lip, she held onto him.

"I just wanted to see you." He showed her the burger and fries he brought her.

"O thanks." She kissed his cheek as she put in the fridge. "Me and Alli just ate." She grabbed his hand as she lead him to the couch…not realizing that her boyfriend noticed she didn't kiss him on the cheek.

This wasn't like Clare. She always kissed him on the mouth. And he was gone for one day. Did she not miss him. was she still mad at him?

"Are we still arguing?"

"No….we aren't." She held his hand. She was doing to best that she hold onto them. But she knew they were slipping away. He was being so good to her. Coming to see her the minute he got back in town. But she couldn't stop this feeling. Not it was more than just that.

"so then maybe I can make it up to you…..what do you want to do tonight?"

"Me, Dave, and Alli." His eyes rolled at the mention of the Muslim. "We are going to a poetry club….want to come. I know it is not your thing…but."

"I will come." He stated.

…

Eli watched Bianca lead her little dancers on the stage. The kindergarteners were too adorable as they moved their bodies to classical music. He did this for her. He chose "The Nutcracker" just so he could include his sister in this project. She needed a pick-me-up. She needed time where she didn't think about the stress of Drew or Audra…

Bianca smiled brightly as she watched her children dance around the stage. Never did she think in a million years that she would get joy from teaching young children ballet. Yes she canceled her private lessons for today, but nothing could keep her away from them.

"they are pretty good." Eli whispered in her ear as he saw them exit the stage from behind as his middle schoolers came back on the stage.

"I know." She said confidently as she nudged the boy playfully… she was grateful to both him and CeCe. To major in an art that she would enjoy for the rest of her life. But as much as she tried to focus on her group on kids who were watching the rehearsal with their parents, a part of her wanted to see Katie again. Eli said that she would be here to talk to her. But she knew Katie would run away. She didn't want to believe it, but it was true. All she wanted to know was that she was alright. Eli said she was. But that wasn't good enough. Seeing her. Talking to her was all that she would settle for.

"She will be here." Eli read her mind as Bianca could only nod….knowing that he couldn't guarantee her this.

Katie couldn't do this. She couldn't talk to her. The hardest thing for her to do was to acknowledge that she wrong. Wrong for giving her a forced ultimatum. Opening the auditorium doors, she saw students and parents leave. And all that was there was Eli and Bianca. Taking a deep breath, she summoned her nerves to face her again.

Eli didn't understand how Bianca could not see this with her own eyes. How could she not see how breathless she was when Katie came closer to them. Or how the blush on her cheeks stained her face.

"You came….."Bianca embraced the girl who held her back. She couldn't explain the joy she felt at this moment. To have her near again. To touch her red tresses. To never want to let her go again.

"Yeah….." Katie saw Eli stare at the two. Embracing the rebel, she didn't need a hug to know how much she missed her. If anything, this was a sweet torture for her. A beautiful torture for her.

"I miss you Katie." Bianca refused to bring up the past. That didn't matter right now. All she knew was that the void in her life that needed to filled was Katie.

"Bianca….i…i….i miss you too…but so much time has passed. I don't think I can be the friend that you need right now." She bit her lip.

"Yes you can…..you just have to want it. Am I the only one who wants it?" Bianca looked into her eyes as Katie shook.

"Come on then….." Bianca grabbed her hand as she led them out the door. Forgetting that Eli was there.

…

Audra couldn't let this go on anymore. She knew who her son was texting. She was tired of acting as if she didn't know of their affair. She just thought it was a one time thing. But she would not let Drew make the worst mistake in his life. She would not let him look back and hate himself. She couldn't lose another son to a bad choice.

Unlocking his apartment door, she heard the moans from his bedroom. Him and Julia. Holding her stomach mentally, she opened the bedroom door. Her presence strong as said nothing. Her face contorting in anger. She was the predator and they were the prey.

"Mom,what the hell?" Drew got off of Julia as he covered the alabaster beauty with his sheets. The fear in her eyes that she tried to control. She knew she was wrong. They were both wrong. And she was stupid to think that they could keep this hidden.

"Drew….Julia…this game that you two are playing. It stops here and now." She folded her arms as Drew shook his head.

"Mom…this isn't any of your…." He began.

"don't you dare tell me that this is not. For months I have watched you two flirt behind Bianca and Eli's back. If you didn't forget you are engaged Drew."

"Mom, I don't want to be. You know this. Just like about us. There is nothing you can do about it." Drew put some clothes as Audra wouldn't back down. "How did you know?" He demanded to know.

"I noticed the way you two argued back and forth. No one argues like that unless there is a reason." She looked at Julia with death in her eyes.

"Don't you dare look at her like that." Drew defended the young woman. "I was the one who perused her. Not the other way around. She tried to fight it. I kept…."

"She should have fought harder then. I am not going to let you make another mistake….."

"No mom…I am not going to let you control me and my life anymore. I want Julia. And we are going to tell Eli and Bianca this. There is nothing you can do about it." He walked past her as Audra followed him as Julia began put her clothes on.

"I am only being forceful because I love….." The woman began.

"No mom. You are doing this because you are unhappy. I miss Adam too. But you can't occupy yourself in my life. I can't live like this. I cant. I love you. But I need you to see that I have to live my own way. Adam wants me to. He always did. Please let me. I love Julia….i was trying to tell you but you didn't let me. I have to be a man." He pleaded.

Julia put her clothes on as she heard Drew fighting for her. For them. This was what she wanted. Someone strong. Someone passionate. But she was scared of what was next. She didn't want Bianca to hate her. But no one could hate her as much as she hated herself. Walking to the kitchen, she stood beside him. Seeing Audra redden.

"Julia….you are making a mistake. Think about Eli. Think about the future. Relationships that start out like this don't last. You know that. Right now. It is just an impulse. Break this up and no one has to get hurt." The woman dropped her defenses.

"Mom….just be honest. This is all about you. It always has been. Because once you get an idea you never let it go. Leave us alone." He said firmly as Audra shook her head.

"You two are really going to regret this." She saw them return to the bedroom as Audra saw his phone on the coffee table. Grabbing it, she put it in her purse. If Drew wanted to make the biggest mistake in his life, she would help him.

…..

The two couples sat at the little table. Hearing the thunder, she was surprised so many people still came. But if they were like her they loved cafes like this. With stages. Nothing made her feel more comfortable than hearing others' thoughts. Sitting down, the two watched their men order their dinner.

She wished K.C. didn't come here because he felt obligated too. He hated doing the things that made her Clare. Not that he complained or showed it. She just could read through his body language. Old Hitchcock movies, reading poetry, having analytical conversations about life in general. Then she thought opposites attract, but now she wasn't sure. She saw how other girls looked at him, and she knew that she held him back…but she did like him. She did care for him….

"Please tell me that this is reminding you of why you like K.C." Alli watched the red head's mind wonder. She hoped she was doing her best to not be judgmental. Accidents happened. It was part of life.

"I just want to feel loved. Like you and Dave…we have been together for a while…and it has not come yet. I mean….I do love K.C….just not…..i don't know what I am trying to say." Biting her lip as she watched the athlete order for her. She didn't want waste his or her time.

"Then don't settle. But you can't compare me and Dave to you and K.C. I mean me and Dave have had to grow up and learn how to compromise. we came back to one another because there was something always there. It was never really over. Even after Dallas." Alli informed. "When something is over Clare. It is over." She shrugged hoping her friend was listening to her.

"How did you two know you were ready for marriage? How did you know Dave was the only man in the world for you?" She was looking at the petite girl.

"We just both felt it. It's hard to explain. You just know. When I didn't talk to him, my whole day was ruined. Whenever we argued, we both apologized immediately after because we didn't want to lose each other." She watched her husband look at the menu. Still blushing at him, Clare wanted to see K.C. in that light.

"I think I would have felt this way even if I hadn't of kissed Eli…." Her statement made the gorgeous Indian look at her. Why did she wait this long to tell her it was him?

"Eli Goldworthy…." The intelligent girl remembered the goth boy from school. Knowing what she would tell her friend next would make her explode.

"Yeah…" She bit her lip seeing Alli debate mentally. Great. Could this get anymore worse?

"What…." Clare waited as the Muslim opened her mouth slowly.

"….Don't get mad. But Dave invited him here." She saw Clare redden.

"You have got to be freaking kidding me." Clare said calmly. She definitely grew since her high school days. Alli was shocked when she didn't make a scene.

"They always kept in contact because of their theatre days. Sorry, you should have told me it was him…"

"Its not your fault." Clare prepared herself as the boys came back with their meals. This was going to be one hell of a double date.

…

So much had happened between them, but Bianca knew Katie was the same person from high school. Her kind eyes never changed and her drive only heightened. If that were possible. Standing outside the auditorium, the fighter noticed the distance the jock kept between them. Why was Katie being so stubborn? Why couldn't they be best friends again?

"Come on….let's go to The Dot….remember how we used to share the burgers." The dancer noticed the girl become uncomfortable with her presence.

"Bianca we aren't in high school." Katie looked at the ground. Anything to avoid her eyes. She couldn't do this. Her body was losing control. And at the moment, she wanted to cry. She hardly ever cried, but this girl still made her feel things she didn't want to feel. She wasn't as strong as she thought she was.

"I know that ,but why are you trying to pull back from me." The fighter sounded like a child who wanted its favorite toy back. But Katie was more than just a toy to her. She was the girl who had the brightest eyes she had ever seen. The most fearless girl she had ever met.

"I didn't say that I wanted to be your friend." The athlete saw the other's face sadden. "I just came because you deserved to get a thank you face to face. I couldn't just not say anything." She reasoned seeing the rebel folded her arms.

"So you can thank me for saving you the other night, but you can't apologize for dropping me." Bianca showed her raw emotion…remembering how she cried that night.

"_**Binx…" CeCe ran after her daughter as she entered their home. Hearing her cries, the teen dropped on the bed…releasing her tears. Ignoring her mother sitting down beside her.**_

"_**What's wrong baby…." The mother let the child rest her head on her lap. Waiting for her to respond. Running her fingers in her daughter's hair, she felt the girl relax.**_

"_**You were right CeCe…..about everything." Bianca looked in her mother's eyes. "Katie does like me…."**_

"_**I know…." The blonde nodded.**_

"_**And she doesn't want to be friends anymore with me. I can't help it if I can't give her what she wants."**_

"_**You are right but….are you sure it is not because you are scared to give her what you both want?" The stepmother asked as Bianca stood up.**_

"_**I am so tired of you and Eli telling me how I feel about Katie. She is my good friend. I like Drew." She stated.**_

"_**I know. But its alright to feel how you feel regardless. Put yourself in her position. The way you look at her. The way you touch her. Talk to her. It has to hurt….."**_

"_**I talk to her the same way I do Mare….."She informed.**_

"_**No you don't dear. You are very protective of Katie. extremely…."**_

"_**I don't like her alright…." The rebel said with all her might. But the look in her mother's eyes told her that she wasn't heard.**_

"_**Then why are so hurt dear?"**_

"_**Because I lost my best friend" Cece let the child believe what she wanted too. Because the more she argued with her, the more her daughter would fight against her….**_

"I didn't drop you. You had Drew. And Marisol…" Katie told her with no emotion in her voice. Noticing how her brown curls had gotten longer. She was so beautiful beyond meaning.

"That wasn't good enough for me." Bianca looked at the red head. "I mean. How could you just do that to me? To us? Just because I didn't like you. I couldn't help how I felt about you. And I am sorry that I rejected you but I couldn't lie to you." Bianca pleaded. Grateful that Eli was gone, he would disagree with everything she was saying.

"I know that now. I do…but I wasn't being completely honest with you." The athlete admitted.

"What then…because we spent 5 years being hostile with each other when we could have gotten over this." The rebel demanded an answer.

"I was in love with you Bianca…I loved you…." Katie attempted to walk off as the other grabbed her hand. Refusing to let her go. No. not this time.

How could see admit that? Not that it would change anything. But how could she allow herself to become this weak again. She wasn't being fair with herself. She was still in love with her. But she had Drew…..

"What did you say?" The rebel looked in her eyes. Moving the strand of hair from her face. Did the rebel just here her right?

"Nothing…." The red head lied.

"Katie….I…." Bianca felt the rushing of her heartbeat.

"I know ok…I know you don't love me. You never will…but I can't be friends with someone who doesn't love me back. Who can't love me back….I'm so sorry but" The tears fell down as Bianca tried to wipe them away.

"no…don't….you don't owe me anything Bianca. I just have to realize that my feelings for you will never be requited. I will get over it." She looked at the rebel who could only nod. Not being able to process her words. She didn't know why, because deep down, she knew the girl loved her.

"Good luck to you and Drew alright. I hope you two have kids and everything you want because you deserve it." Katie grabbed her bag as she saw Bianca cry too. And she hated it too. Wiping the tear away, she folded her lips.

"Goodbye Bianca." She gently pressed her lips against the rebel's. She knew this would never happen again. At least she had a taste of her fantasy. Folding her lips, she wiped her eyes...not looking back at the girl. If she had, she would have seen the rebel with her eyes closed. If they were open, they would have told her she wanted the feel of her lips again.

…..

Eli's mouth opened as he reached Dave's table. He was the only one here without a girlfriend. The third wheel. Looking at their faces, Clare's stood out to him immediately. And K.C.'s arm around her disgusted him. but he didn't show it. He didn't have the right to show it.

"Eli my man." Dave greeted. "You remember K.C. and Clare from high school." The boy was oblivious to Alli and Clare's uncomfortable faces. But K.C. wasn't. He saw that glare of excitement when looked at the red head.

"Yeah…I remember." K.C. threatened the boy with his eyes as Clare pretended not to see the scene.

"So how much have I missed?" Eli sat at their table noticing Clare try not to look at him.

"It hasn't began yet. You have time to get something to eat." Dave answered. "Isn't it cool how this is a mini reunion." He drank his tea as Alli hit his foot under the table.

"Ow….."He looked at her as she talked with his eyes. "I hit my foot against the table leg…."they all looked at him as Eli left the table.

"Maybe we can go to more of these." K.C. kissed her forehead. "I am beginning to like the vibe here." He saw her eyes sparkle. Maybe he was being paranoid of Eli. But his instincts told him the man couldn't be trusted.

"Yeah…." Clare kissed him not seeing Eli watch the two from afar. Damn this was going to hurt like hell. Seeing Dave approach him with his hands in his jacket pocket.

"So I take it you are the guy Clare kissed this weekend." Dave put the puzzle together as he saw Jess. Siting across the café with her sorority sisters. Her eyes on K.C.

"Doesn't matter. K.C. is a lucky guy." The theatre boy grabbed his sandwich and water.

K.C. smiled as he laid her head on his shoulder. Finally things were going back to normal. They were as strong as he thought they were. Kissing her forehead, he noticed the sorority girl's eyes on him. her sexy, lustful eyes on him. but they would not stop him from Clare.

"So…Mr. and Mrs. Turner…."Eli sat beside them. Ignoring the other couple cuddle with all his might. "What made you guys invite me here."

"Well you needed a break. Drowning yourself in that play just to stay away from Julia isn't healthy." Alli stated.

"Good news. We broke up." He noticed Clare twitch a little bit. Did she hear right? He was single. But she wasn't. she was in the arms of another. Wanting to be held by the passionate man at the other side of her table.

"So right now, I am going to enjoy being single. The only thing I hate about it is that I got 2 Chuck Palahniuk tickets." He shrugged as Clare wanted to speak up. Biting her lip, she saw K.C. go to the restroom.

"Anyone know someone who would enjoy it?" Eli saw the red head's eyes glow. "Did you want it?" He asked the red head who shook her head.

"Sorry. I can't bring K.C. He would want to go anyways." She admitted seeing him walk towards the back of the café.

"You two make a good couple." He said genuinely as Clare nodded seeing Dave and Alli take a drink with emphasis. They couldn't overlook the chemistry between the two. Even though they were far apart. The way Eli's eyes bore into hers. The way Clare chose her words wisely around him.

"Thanks. So how is the play going. Katie tells me that it is going to be amazing." She wanted to hear more about his work.

"Good. Bianca's dancers are definitely better than average children dancing…that's for sure." Eli wanted to sit by her. But he couldn't.

…..

Bianca held herself as she sat in the car. She couldn't drive home. She didn't have the energy to. The sun was setting and she was still in the school parking lot. Running her thumb over her soft lips, were CeCe and Eli right? Did she actually have feelings for the gorgeous athlete? Not now….why now?

She wanted Drew. She loved Drew with all her heart. And he loved her with his? Why did Katie have to make question herself more? And why did have to leave her again. How could you leave someone after you kissed them? With no explanation. And she wanted to ignore the beating of her heart. But she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried.

This finally became real to her. She was forced to face these feelings that everyone knew except for her. No. she did know. She just chose to ignore them. What would she do now? Nothing. Because Katie would stay away from her with all of her might.

…

Katie laid in the bed not regretting her actions today. Knowing that nothing would ever come from them, at least she somewhat got the closure she needed. Holding her lap top on her lap, she looked on Bianca's Facebook page. The picture of her engagement ring was the profile picture. Ignoring the tinge of envy she had for Drew, she clicked on her pictures. After all the time that passed, they were still friends on the cite. Seeing her and Drew in every picture, she decided that she would rather her be happy with him than miserable around her. Though she swore at times, she saw Bianca see her in another light….

"_**Bianca…stop hogging." Katie tried to pull the lap top away from the girl. Her eyes glowing with happiness. Happy to be around the girl of her dreams. "Seriously, you are addicted to Facebook…..stop stalking Drew."**_

"_**ha ha…I am not stalking….i was actually pulling up this dress to show you. " The fighter turned the screen to show her best friend. It was perfect. Simple. Chic and Elegant. Just like her. "When I saw it..i thought about you. It would be nice for you show your nice legs." The jock blushed at the compliment. **_

_**Bianca hated how the girl couldn't see how beautiful she was. Long legs to die for. Long tresses that accented her body. Touching a strand of her hair, Bianca noticed the other flinch.**_

"_**No thanks….I can read your mind you know. I don't want to date." Katie refused to look at the screen. Placing distance between them on her bed. She hated when the girl looked at her like this. Her eyes would always wonder to her lips.**_

"_**Come on Katie. You have to start. I know you like Fiona…" the badass felt a sting in her heart. "And you have to experience some things. What does Helen think about this?"**_

"_**She just hopes you can talk me into it. But you both have to let me do it when I want to. There aren't too many open lesbians at school. I mean Fiona is so strong for coming out." Katie blushed as Bianca shrugged.**_

"_**So there is an interest in her." The curly haired girl waited for her to answer.**_

"_**I don't like Fiona….i told you for the last time. But I do admire her strength." **_

"_**Well you need to go out and meet other girls. I know you are lonely. It is alright to want to have someone to depend on. And this this dress is bait. One thing I know is how to get someone's attention."**_

"_**So something is wrong with me…." Katie misinterpreted her words. Knowing there was.**_

"_**No…no…you are perfect Katie…..everything is perfect about you." She touched her cheek. "I just want you to have a love life. You can't hide behind soccer." Katie looked at the white sun dress. "And as your friend. I want you to be happy." The two looked in each other's eyes. A blush on both of their cheeks. Bianca's hands on the girl's cheeks.**_

"_**It is beautiful." Katie had to agree. Destroying their moment.**_

"_**It will be even more beautiful on you." The rebel looked in her eyes. Her deep eyes. "so…I will buy it for you."**_

That was just wishful thinking. Because Bianca would never come after her.


	5. Lips of an Angel

Lips of An Angel

Chapter 5

Hinder

…

Audra couldn't just let her son destroy his life. She knew she was acting insane. But she would do her best to keep her son from being broken hearted again. Bianca was the sure thing. The safe thing. After the loss of Adam,for a while, she didn't even recognize her son. Depressed. Enraged. Hurt. He was all of those things and she was left to pick up the pieces along with her husband. Thinking about the alabaster beauty who captured his heart, she had nothing personally against the girl. But the two didn't see that their attraction was merely infatuation. Nothing more. Nothing less. And the minute they broke up, the minute she would be forced to pick her son back up. She wasn't ready for that. Not this time or last time…..

"_**Drew." Audra said quietly as she opened the door to his room. Seeing him bundled in his blanket. Rocking back and forth. Tears in his sorrowful eyes. It was like he did not hear her. He was lost to this world.**_

'_**You have to eat." She sat beside him as she touched his shoulder. Hating that he flinched away from her.**_

_**Drew didn't want to see her. Or the family therapist. He needed Adam back. That was the only person who could save him at the moment. The only person who could always save him. Shaking his head, he ignored her loving words. They didn't mean anything to him. No one could promise that they would be there for him. why couldn't they see that life was not guaranteed?**_

"_**I'm not hungry." The teen got out the bed as his mother looked at him with discouragement.**_

"_**Adam would want us….."**_

"_**I don't care about what Adam…..why should we care about him when he was stupid enough to not pay attention to the road…..why did he not think about us. Or enough of himself to not do it. Now he's gone. And we are left here without him."**_

"_**Drew….it was an accident…."**_

"_**No mom….spilling milk on the floor is an accident…not colliding head on with a tree. It's not fair. He finally had everything going for him and God took him away from us." The boy threw a book across the room.**_

"_**Drew….." She reacted to behavior.**_

"_**Get out! I don't want to talk to anyone….get out!" He yelled as she obeyed.**_

So much time had passed. And they were finally able to smile without feeling guilty. Gripping the phone in her hand, she didn't hear George come inside kissing her on the cheek.

"Audra…..you alright?" He saw her grip Drew's phone. A look of curiosity came on his face as he grabbed it from her hand. Her face showing her annoyance. "Why do you have Drew's phone? He didn't come here today."

"How do you know?" Audra asked.

"Because you may be a lawyer but you are my wife. I know when you are lying or when you are scheming." He saw her dark eyes. Knowing a plan was brewing beneath them.

"I caught Julia and Drew together today. You have to help me break them up." Urgency rang from her voice.

"No I have to stop you from doing something you will regret…."

"Bianca deserves to know….." The woman chose her words.

"She does, but not this way…" The man shook his head at his wife's behavior.

"Why aren't you surprised by what I just told you. Your son is sleeping with Julia. Bianca's brother. Bianca is his fiancé George."

"I know, but we are far removed from the situation. Why can't you just let him make decisions for himself. he has to learn and figure out what he wants. "

"But what if he wants the wrong thing…." Audra did her best to make her love understand.

"then he will figure it out sooner or later. It's his choice. Not ours. And if you meddle you will lose two sons. He won't forgive you. Neither will I." The man stated firmly.

"George….."

"I know how you feel. I do honey but we can not control everything to keep Drew safe….we can't….he loves Julia. I see that. Bianca is just oblivious and Drew is just stuck. He has to be the one to call off the wedding." He grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going?"

"To take this back to Drew. I don't want you to get tempted." He left her as she looked at the door.

,,,,,

K.C. folded his lips as he looked at the text. She was here. Not that he didn't see her from across the room. Putting his hand on his head, he had to remember that Clare and he were on good terms again. And he wouldn't let lust get to him like this. Doing his best to not imagine her body in her tight jeans and one shoulder top, he had to go to the bathroom. Hopefully Clare would be so into the show, she wouldn't notice. Releasing a sigh, he knew she wouldn't notice. She loved events like these, and he had to do anything to keep himself awake here. Leaving the restroom, he felt a hand pull him inside the storage closet.

"You didn't think I would let you be here and not talk to me." She touched his arm as he pushed her off.

Jess only ignored his attempt to be the good boyfriend. She knew she would have her way. She always had her way. And by the looks in his eyes, she knew what he wanted. Her. Only her. And she would prove that she could give him what he needed. Not that innocent little girl.

"Jess, I am not interested." He distanced her with his arms.

"Yes you are. I know you better than yourself at the moment." She attempted to grab his pants. He was only putting up a front. He would soon give up to her. And she couldn't wait.

"No you don't…because I am with Clare. I love her." He looked at her long tresses flow around her body.

"But you never said that you didn't want me K.C. it's alright I can keep a secret." She whispered as she unzipped his pants. It wasn't like Clare was totally faithful to him anyways. But she would keep this to herself for now. She didn't want to ruin this moment. Locking the door, she saw the nervousness on his face. He couldn't deny his body anymore. Letting her unzip his pants, she saw her prize.

"Please tell me this isn't your first time." She teased. "I told you. I won't tell Clare." At least not yet she wouldn't. "Just don't think about it." She heard his moans as she licked him…taking him in her mouth. Feeling him put his hands through her hair.

…

Eli saw her eyes brighten as she listened to the poets on the stage. Beautiful. She didn't even realize what she looked like at the moment. Her cheeks rosy from her excitement. Her eyes glowing with anticipation. He hoped K.C. wouldn't mess up. And if he had, he would be there to show her. Not like she would let him. she hated herself for betraying her boyfriend.

Where was he?

He had been gone for 20 minutes.

But she was so into the poet's lyrics, she didn't seem to notice. He wished she didn't care.

"You're drooling." Dave whispered to him as Alli laid on his chest. Never would he have thought he would be happy like this. And he began to realize that he deserved this happiness. They both did. Kissing her forehead, Alli rubbed his chest as the intermission took place.

Looking at the two tickets in his pocket, he moved beside the red head. Giving them to her.

"You and K.C. will have a really good time." He attempted to move back to the other side, but her hand caught him. Pulling him back down.

To her.

"I can't do that Eli….." she sincerely said.

"What? Scared that Katie will find out where you got them from?" He asked ignoring the married couple's eyes.

"No…I just can't take these like this. Especially after what happened between us."

"What happened?" He saw her smile shyly.

"Thanks for understanding…." Still remembering how it felt. Doing her best not to look at his lips. But as he licked his lips, she felt a hand tug on hers.

"Come on Clare, let's get refills." Alli stopped her friend from making the biggest mistake of her life.

"You really saved me back there."

"Clare. You were about to kiss again….in public…with millions of people here. With K.C. here. Do you want to make this harder for yourself?" Alli kept her voice low.

"Alli I don't know what I want anymore. I thought I did. Somehow. Eli makes me feel…."

"Clare you just met him. You are acting like some love sick puppy….take it from someone who has experienced lust at first sight. It goes just as quickly as it comes."

"I thought we weren't being judgmental." Her response caught the young wife by surprise.

"I'm not…but I am being a good friend to you. Just don't get caught up in him. don't find yourself trying to make ways to see him. it is going to hurt like hell if K.C. finds out. You said you chose K.C. Whatever you do, don't go back." She bit her lip as the red head could only nod.

….

"Katie…open the door…I know you are there." The pristine beauty kept knocking on the door. Her umbrella in hand, she heard the wind blow her neighbors look at her oddly. Not caring, she waited for the red head to open the door.

Katie opened the door, seeing the girl with the brightest smile on her face. It was sickening to her. This wasn't a happy occasion. Turning her back to her, Fiona let herself in as she closed the door.

"Ok…." Fiona noticed the girl's disposition. "What happened?"

"I kissed Bianca…"the jock noticed the princess' mouth drop.

"O my God. O My God. This calls for a celebration. So give the juicy details. Did she kiss back?"

"I didn't give her a chance too. Not that she would have anyways. She's straight…."

"Correction. She thinks she's straight." Fiona alarmed.

"No Fiona. this isn't high school. I am not going to let you convince me that it is again. Remember what you said." Katie saw the girl bite her lip. "O Katie…you have to tell her. She's into you. She just doesn't know it yet…"

"Bianca was and is into you." The pristine girl affirmed.

"You can't prove that to me."

"Yes I can." Fiona laughed at Bianca's jealous overprotective ways….

_**Bianca ate her sandwich as she waited for Katie in the student council room. Finally Drew asked her out, and she couldn't wait to tell her best friend. Bursting with excitement, she already thought of the perfect outfit for the night. And she mentally hit herself in the head. When did she become one of those girl's who liked the attention of one of the star athletes. Even though she didn't show it, she was a girl who did have feelings too. Who wanted to be admired by…**_

"_**Hey Bianca, have you seen Katie?" The princess' grey eyes sparkled as she waited for an answer. If anyone knew where Katie was it would be the gorgeous badass.**_

"_**No." The rebel looked at the pristine beauty oddly. Why was she looking for Katie? The look on her face told her it was more than Student Council.**_

"_**Ummm….alright." Fiona noticed the girl's bitter answer. "….what kind of movies does Katie like?" She ignored the girl who was eating her sandwich. Becoming irritated by Bianca's lack of acknowledging her presence.**_

"_**Umm….why do you ask?" Bianca looked at the gorgeous girl clutching her purse. Since when did she become interested in Katie? Not that she couldn't see why anyone wouldn't be interested in the athlete with the most gorgeous body she every saw.**_

"_**Just more like a girl's night out." She shrugged.**_

"_**With just the two of you. Sounds kind of like a date to me." The rebel glared daggers at her.**_

"_**Not that is any of your business, but it's not. Katie needs to be around girls like her. I know what it is like to be the odd lesbian out." Fiona shrugged at the girl's denial. She was into Katie. It was so obvious.**_

"_**Well she has me. So she doesn't feel alone….." Eating her fruit cup, the tough girl cut her off.**_

"_**Your jealousy right now is so nauseating." The pristine beauty's comment made her choke on her food as the other snickered.**_

"_**I'm not jealous." Bianca defended herself. "i thought you liked Imogen…its not fair to Katie to lead her on like that."**_

"_**I'm not like that at all. Last time I checked it's not your job to deflect any potential friends from her." Fiona folded her arms.**_

"_**Last time I checked….you should go play your mind games with someone else. I won't let you hurt Katie like how you hurt Adam. Back off." Bianca stared her in the eyes as Fiona rolled hers.**_

"_**By the should really tell Katie that you are into her." She walked away from the girl.**_

"That still doesn't prove anything Fiona. She was jealous because she thought you were taking me away from her."

"more like stealing you away from her." The girl played with her gorgeous curls. "Come on Katie. Make your move….."

"Are you serious? Bianca Is engaged to Drew. Your ex-roommate. How can you choose sides right now?"

"Because it's easy too…I mean…come on. If she didn't want that kiss she would have pushed you back….she didn't. that means go for it…."

"No…that means she didn't want to hurt me…."

"Believe what you want to Matlin." She shrugged.

….

K.C. zipped up his pants as the girl left their hiding place. How could he enjoy this? Even worse, how could he enjoy it as much as he did? If he told Fitz, he knew the boy would congratulate him. he was getting the best of both worlds. The mistress and the wife. But right now, he couldn't look in her eyes. He couldn't pretend to be the good guy when he stepped back in the room. Finding the back door, he left her behind. Dave and Alli could take her home.

Clare looked disappointed as she got off the phone. No not another athletic meeting. Now she forced to keep her mind off of Eli without him here. Damn it.

"Care to give me a ride home? Never mind. I will get a taxi. I didn't mean to intrude on you guys. How could K.C. just leave me?" Hearing the thunder clash.

"Clare….it had to be important. He has never done this to you before." Alli told her as she nodded. hearing the rain begin. hitting hard against the roof. Eli shook his head, he had a long walk ahead of him.

"ELi please tell me you drove?" Dave huffed as his friend shook his head. "We live like 3 blocks away from here. Let's go."

Wanting to feel her hand, Eli restrained himself. Why did the weather have to be so bad that he couldn't walk home? Why was the wind raging? Like his emotions. Dave warned him to try to distance himself from the girl. And he knew Alli did the same for Clare. But he knew he couldn't help himself. Seeing her hand on the seat, he gently moved his on top of hers. As if it were an accident..

"sorry…." He looked at her as she said nothing. Grateful the car was stopping now. Grabbing her purse, they ran into the apartment complex. Drenched. Laughing at themselves, Dave unlocked his door as Alli grabbed his hand. This was the perfect weather to make love in. She couldn't wait for tonight as she pulled him close to her. Not caring if Eli and Clare saw.

"Umm…guys….where are the towels?" The red head refused to look at the happy couple.

"wait one second" Alli broke apart from Dave as she went into the hallways closet. "Feel free to use the shower." She handed them towels and large shirts as she rushed into the bedroom with Dave close behind.

"Thanks Als." She said with irritation.

"they're cute….." he stated.

"I thought you were cynical when it came to love."

"Only when its not real. After everything they went through to see that they don't resent each other. It makes me want that kind of love." He stated as Clare made sure distance was kept between them.

"Yeah….." she nervously said as Eli hated how he scared her.

"Could you please stop running away from me….I'm not going to kiss you or jump on you. I'm not that kind of guy to just ignore a girl's feelings."

"I never said that. I didn't…." Clare walked into the bathroom. Resting her head against the door, this boy's presence couldn't even let her respond to the simplest of things. Wiping off her body, she put on the big t-shirt. She was glad that they let her spend the night over. Thunderstorms frightened her somewhat.

"It's yours." She looked at the ground as Eli admired her pale legs. Like that night in the club, he remembered how they felt against his skin.

"Sure." He grabbed the towel.

…..

Bianca stood at his door soaking. She just had to get her mind off of her. She just had to believe in the love she had for Drew. Licking her lips, she hated that she could still taste Katie on her lips. Touching her cheeks, she felt Katie still there with her. Ringing the doorbell, she held herself in desperation. This just had to make her forget.

"Dad….what did you forget?" He began seeing the drenched girl. "What are doing….." Drew was cut off by her lips. Feeling her pull his shirt over his head as she bit his bottom lip. Hearing him moan.

"Miss me?" She began to suck on his neck as she placed him against the door. Closing it with his body.

"Bianca…" he pushed her off. Looking at the lust inside of them. "What are you doing here with the weather this bad?" he wondered.

He really wanted to ask why was she here period. Never before would he have passed up the advances of a gorgeous girl like her,but he didn't want it. And he had to find someone way pushing her off without hurting her. She was his fiancé, and he hated how he forgot that fact.

"I missed you and" She shrugged. "I realized that maybe I was overreacting towards your mom today…sorry." She claimed his lips again as she began to unzip his pants.

"Bianca…..i….i….i am working early tomorrow morning.." He hoped she believed him. He had to tell her. But he couldn't summon the nerve. And yet he felt as this wasn't her. She was trying too hard.

"What better way to put you to sleep than this?" She teased as her hands went inside his boxers. No. he couldn't do this. Not to Julia. Not to Bianca. But feeling her rub him, he found the strength to push her off.

"Bianca. I…I…I can't…..I'm tired…."He saw the disappointment in her eyes. But he couldn't help it.

"Why not? I know you are lying about something. What is going on? I am your fiancé. We haven't had sex in a month. You aren't that stressed out." The girl said with defeat…wishing she could just run out his apartment. Not wanting to embarrass herself like that. How could anyone reject sex?

"Are you serious?" Drew played on his lie. "I am about to be promoted and get married in a couple of months."

"Another excuse." Bianca shook her head.

"O please. This is coming from someone who is pushing herself on me…." He proclaimed.

"….i am supposed to do that? I use to do it all the time….remember?" Her assertive tone made him shake his head.

"Bianca don't play the victim here. For the past months, every time I would kiss you. You would push me off. Like you were disgusted by me…." The handsome man said.

"I told you I wasn't though…." She stated.

"Bianca, I am not going to argue with you."

"I am not arguing with you." She folded her arms. He wasn't supposed to push her off like that. She was supposed to be in his bed. Him on top on her. Making her forget about the athlete. "It's like you…."

"Like I what?" He wanted her to say it. Say how he felt.

"nothing…." She slammed the door in his face.

"Wait…Bianca…the weather."

"I will be alright. I am a survivor." She assured him. "not that you care anyway."

….

_Eli's saw the angelic girl sleep on the couch. Her breathing only calmed him as he touched her cheek. She was so beautiful. And she didn't even know it. Folding his lips, he kissed her forehead. And then her lips. It was only a peck. But it was powerful enough to wake the red head. Her eyes looking up at him with a light smile on her face._

"_You couldn't sleep either?" She looked in his eyes, seeing him blush. He just embarrassed himself. She caught him in the act. And he had nothing to be ashamed of. She wasn't. she couldn't fight this feeling anymore In her body. Never had her mind and body wanted something so strongly._

"_Sorry." He attempted to lay back down as she pulled him on her. Laying in between her legs. Her hands rested on his shoulder blades. Her eyes telling him what he wanted to hear._

"_Eli…I really want….."She said as he cut her words off with his lips. Biting and sucking her bottom lip, she couldn't stop the moans escaping her lips. This was something she didn't want to get used to. His body on top of his. She was doing her best to pull his shirt over his head._

"_No…no I can't…not here." He tried to pull away from her._

"_Why not? I want you. Don't you want me too?" Her eyes captured his. Only nodding, he was hers._

"_I do. I do. but….."_

"_Just kiss me." She pulled him towards her. He couldn't hold onto to his control anymore. And he was doing his best to. But the minute he felt her hands on his bare back, he was lost. Feeling her tongue in his mouth, somehow, they managed to take all of their clothes off…_

_Clare felt him wrap his arms around her tighter and tighter. Shoving his tongue in her mouth. Anything to keep her from screaming. But the deeper he moved inside of her, she was lost in pleasure. Feeling every emotion she had for the man on top of her._

_Eli looked down at her. Her rosy cheeks. Her beautiful lips that called his name over and over again. Begging him not to stop. Only to give them both more….._

"Waking up abruptly, he wiped his forehead. Feeling his hardness below. Looking at the girl sleep on the couch. She was dead to world. Hoping he didn't speak in his sleep. As real as that dream felt, he was surprised he didn't.

….

Dave held her in his arms. Her head on his chest. But her mind was someone else now. It was with him and only him 20 minutes ago. Moving deeply in her as she tried to silence her screams. He didn't care if Eli, Clare or their neighbors heard. He was hers and she was his. Thinking about how their parents thought they crazy for eloping, but this was the right thing to do. Feeling her trace patterns on his chest, he wanted to have her body again as he showed restraint.

"What's wrong…." He looked in her brown eyes.

"I just don't want Clare to make a mistake that she will regret. I mean….you saw today. I just don't want her to be that boy crazy girl who forgets her morals. It is what makes her Clare." She sat up, displaying her naked body to him.

"Alli, you won't like what I say but Clare is grown. She can do what she wants to. And if she regrets that, then she just does."

"It's just that….how could anyone not see the chemistry between them…and you know K.C. did. I mean….what if he accuses us of trying to break up their relationship.

"I wont let him do that to you. Not like before." Dave said firmly. "That was just a misunderstanding."

"Well that misunderstanding made him tolerate me even less."

_**Alli sat in the library. Doing what she did best. Study. Well according to her husband that was the second thing she did best. Laughing to herself, she saw others look at her as she mouthed sorry to them. Nothing about Biochemistry was fun. And though she was good in all her subjects, she couldn't wait to get this over with. Releasing a sigh, she waved at K.C. who didn't acknowledge her. That was weird. They always spoke. Finishing her assignment she left the library, feeling someone bump into her.**_

"_**You're excused." She eyed the sandy blonde with curiosity. When were they not speaking? "Do you know something that I don't….."**_

"_**Yeah. I do. Clare thinks I was flirting with Jess. I wonder who gave her that idea?" he said with sarcasm.**_

"_**Must be true if you are so mad…." She eyed him down as the girl huffed. She wasn't going to apologize for being a good friend. For looking out for one of the greatest people she knew.**_

"_**By the way…I wasn't flirting with her. We have chemistry 3040 together. Once again you are making a big deal out of nothing. Just like in high school." How was he cursed to run into the same people he did at Degrassi? It was an insane coincidence. An annoying insane coincidence.**_

"_**so her hand reaching underneath your shirt was just friendly conversation." Alli shook her head at the boy's childish ways.**_

"_**I pushed her off….." The boy battled the girl who would not back down to him. **_

"_**When you saw me walk passed you. Cut the crap. You always did have a thing for cheerleaders." She saw his eyes widen.**_

"_**Real childish bringing up Jenna now. Look. I really care for Clare…"**_

"_**then act like it." She walked off.**_

…

Clare couldn't go to sleep. No matter how hard she tried. Laying on the couch, her eyes traveled to him on the floor. She would never get this close again. And she hated how he wasn't pursuing her. She wanted him too. Knowing she sounded crazy. K.C. was her boyfriend…who didn't check in with her tonight. Sitting up, she had to stop doing this. She had to stop finding reasons to become more fascinated with Eli. Hearing his light snore, she found her hand feeling his tresses. doing her best to stop herself, she couldn't. thinking about what it would be like to kiss him again. To talk to him again. To hear his voice aloud rather than in her head.

Eli saw the girl in a trance as he eyes opened gently. Touching her hand with his, he saw her jump a little bit. He didn't mean to scare her.

"Couldn't sleep?" He felt so natural talking to her. Not finding it embarrassing one bit that this girl was touching him.

She could only shake her head. Hating that she was caught by him. wanting to run away but his grip wouldn't let her.

"Clare what is this?" He sat up looking in her eyes. The eyes he had memorized. His hand grazed her cheek. Not hearing the pause of her heart.

"I don't know. Eli, I don't know…" His eyes were calling to her. Telling her to make him hers. But she couldn't.

"Katie would kick my ass if she knew about this." Eli teased as his fingers ran through her hair. "But, Clare it doesn't matter. You have a boyfriend. And I have to respect that. And right now I really want to be near you. More than anything." he pleaded with his eyes as she bit her lip. His touch putting her in a trance. But she had to fight this. Right now.

"I cant…I cant…." She moved to the other side of the room as he laid back down on the floor. She still felt it. And he would find some way to get her to see that he was the one she needed.

Clare should not have done this in the first place. She should have put space between them. But she couldn't separate her heart from his. This didn't make sense. Never before had she felt a pull towards anyone before. To the extent that K.C. didn't matter. The fact that he left her at the café. That he left her to enjoy the event by herself. She wasn't angry at all. She didn't feel anything at all. And she needed to breathe. But she knew what that took. And she wasn't ready for that. She didn't want to hurt K.C. at all, but she had to.

…


End file.
